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I'm alive and feelin' fine...

2009-01-05T11:51:00.002+09:00

Just in case anybody still reads my blog after many months of neglect. Basically my camera is out of commission for a while do to an act of a god that either does or does not exist. But I think according to the fire report it was an electricians fault so we don't need to start blaming supernatural figures.

"This winter is going to be cold--and dark, and it's going to last you the rest of your life." It's not really going to last that long. But it feels that way sometimes. However the winter solstice being kind of the hump-day of the year it all sunny days from here on out. Or at least longer days with the chance of more sun.

My school is under construction so half of the classrooms don't have windows to gather said sun, unfortunately. But luckily, I am on the sunny side of the school. Now I don't have to spend all the money of full spectrum lights and end up on all the lists that would associate me with. "No man, I have seasonal affective disorder! And... glaucoma?" For now my solution is just to stare directly at the sun for the entirety of these short winter days. I consider it exercise for my photosensitive ganglion cells. Let them pull their own weight for a while. There is no free ride on the Dane Train.

I thought it was the 4th of July...

2008-07-08T14:25:00.002+09:00

...and it did indeed appear to be. ;)

(cough, speaking of updating blogs... ahem!)

2008-06-25T07:24:00.003+09:00

Don't judge me. It's been a long time between blog posts. I figure if Anderson Cooper has time in his busy schedule to update HIS blog, I can do the same. He is so "hip" and "in-touch" with the 20-30 crowd and their "technology." I feel sudden urges to purchase products sponsored on his show... Wait... No it passed, we're good.

I have as usual been extremely busy/lazy. Highlight of this week being casting off the shackles of Microsoft. Bill Gates isn't the only one trying to get away from that monster he created. You will never truly understand how horrible Windows is until you switch to Linux. So on that note I successfully installed openSuse 11.0 with KDE4. It's extremely nice. Its been a long time since I tried Linux and it has come a long way. I had to go through about 6 flavors to get it to work. But this one seems to be the most "user friendly" or "idiot proof" depending on which you prefer. But it is also incredibly clean,fast,free,intuitive,useful, etc. Also if you have never seen a liveCD install it is impressive. The whole OS loads off the CD making now changes to your computer, try it out, if you like it install FROM the OS. "We truly live in the future."

I am ind33d coming back to the States. I have some "business to attend to" and then I will be in town in or around 14/15 of July. Prepare your couches for a large man to sleep on them. Not just people I know... EVERYONE. I get confused easy. And don't give me any crap if I am dressed shabbily. I have decided to live for 30 days on carry on luggage only... Crazy? LIKE A FOX!! But I might change my mind. Or just do a bunch of shopping when I get back.

I'm not dead...

2008-04-29T20:54:00.004+09:00

...I have just been extremely busy at work off work and inbetween.
Not that it takes a long time to update...
But sometimes I lack proper motivation and/or will power...
And other times I sit down with a cup of sleep time tea and some good music...
And it seems a little easier to get started...So here was some pics from my trip to Nevada last month...
Hope you enjoy, I did. And that's what matters.

Well the captain of America he sings through his toothpaste...

2007-10-08T08:45:00.001+09:00

It's like perhaps Josh should be selling a truck. But not just any truck, a truck that promises to be tough like an old farm hand while being as all American as "apple pie with a hot dog in it."
I don't know if anyone watches Prison Break, at least that is, anyone who either resides outside of the United States or doesn't own a TV. And even then it's not much of an excuse because I fit both categories and I still manages to see it. I only bring this up because of the rather cliched commercial I saw on TV the other day.
The star of the show, Wentworth Miller, enjoys somewhat of a cult following status here in Korea. The show is quite popular and they usually just call him Scofield, as in his character Michael Scofield. So imagine my surprise or perhaps lack thereof to see him hawking trendy premixed Korean latte beverages in a image driven guy holds product spot.
By the way, not Stephen William Hawking who is a god among men but hawking like to sell. Sell even MORE off topic which thefreedictionary.com defines thusly:

2.	sell - be sold at a certain price or in a certain way; "These books sell like hot cakes" sell - exchange or deliver for money or its equivalent; "He sold his house in January"; "She sells her body to survive and support her drug habit"

So it wasn't so much the ad itself but the incredibly powerful flashback (no I was never in Vietnam and I have never taken acid) to the movie Lost In Translation. In the movie Bill Murray (also enjoying god-among-men status) plays a washed up actor of 70's cop movies being payed to 2 million dollars to do a whiskey advertisement in Japan.
And in all the pictures he is just holding up the whiskey and pointing at it or looking painfully debonair. "For good times-- make it Suntory time." "Like Frank Sinatra, you know Rat Pack."
And I guess I like to picture Mr. Miller having the same conversation with a Korean photographer and possibly a translator which makes the scene in my mind that much better.
Which brings me to the conversation about the difference between commercial ads here and those in the United States. I think I was upset because I always viewed TV commercials as the END of an actors career and I kind of liked the show (until the last season... how many times can you be put into or break of prisons in one lifetime?) but I was told that in Korea only the super popular can just "appear" in a commercial without "doing" anything, to include speech or motion, and still get paid.
...OK. Just had to get that of my chest. I feel better. The pictures are a little late. I just haven't been getting around to the blog as much as I used to. I think I am starting to understand the old what you own ends up owning you thing. I like to post pictures to my blog, but I always feel like I have to include a bunch of current events in my life that either I just really don't want to, or are entirely to munDane (r) for a mass audience.
Example: I brushed my teeth this morning while listening to NPR and for some reason, be it lack of sleep or the trance like state caused by the soothing sounds of the liberal bent, I proceeded to try to spit in the trash can and throw my toothbrush away. (Side note: If someone could produce a disposable toothbrush with toothpaste already on or in the bristles I think there is a market for that. At least among Left leaning insomniacs. I get rights to the concept though)
See, you don't need or want to know this. I don't even need or want to know this, and it actually happened to me. So I will say that sometimes I may just post a bunch of pictures and not include anything with them. If you are curious feel free to write me an email and ask about them. But not everyone wants to get into the details of photography. A picture says a thousand words, so I will let most of them speak for themselves.
I think I just got caught up in the format of my blog as a way for posting my pictures for friends and family and it began to feel like a homework assignment you put off until the teach tells you its do tomorrow. And then it seems sloppy and poorly put together and the teacher fails you and you have to repeat a year and you don't get into Harvard and you become a street musician playing a one man band rig for McDonald's French fries! Don't laugh it could happen to you too!
So what I have is a blog that is mostly a photo album and sometimes a place to put my (always) random thoughts for historical archiving purposes. After I lead the armies of earth against the alien invasion of 2034 people will look back upon the documents for inspiration. And only 1000 years later they will be viewed as scripture by a fanatical group of fundamentalist followers. "No Jeremy, we do NOT reuse or tooth brush ever, it's in the scripture. Ask yourself what Dane would do!"
And Dane would tell you: The proceeding pictures are from my trip back to Washington State about 2 months ago now (ya I am slow) shot both at the residences of Josh's and my respective female parental units. Kind of looks like it all fit together as one "American Farm Life" photo shoot with Josh as the struggling farmer. Josh tends to be very photogenic so I hope nobody else gets jealous, it's nothing personal. We are all equal, just not in the eyes of the lens. And that's the end... for now. One more big post coming with a lot of the portrait stuff from the trip. Should be good if I get up the will power to post.

I'll Do Graffiti if You Sing To Me in French

2007-10-08T06:20:00.000+09:00

I was on a plane to Korea nearly 2 years ago now. At the time I was reading 'Catch-22' and not really getting into it. One theory is I didn't appreciate the irony the book portrays of a lifestyle I had yet to actually live. The other theory is that Delta's big jets have a fully stocked wet bar and its all free on international routes, at least it was. Nothing says, "I am not going to finish this book today!" like an 11:30AM Jack & Coke--"better make it a double."

I learned a very valuable lesson that day about proper hydration and how uncomfortable a slight hangover can be on a 16 hour journey. I think it is similar to the 'Fight Club' "calm-as-hindu-cattle" theory introduced by Tyler to his single serving friend. Except there is something less alarming about a tiny bottle of alcohol as opposed to a oxygen mask dangling in front of your face at 30,000 Ft. To be honest, in hindsight, I would prefer the oxygen.
Needless to say I didn't finish the book. And I got so sidetracked with work and at first being overly extroverted and then a sudden turn towards ultra introverted. Seems to go in waves depending on who is coming and who is going. The constant shuffle keeps life interesting if nothing else. The book goes from backpack to nightstand and later to the dresser. I lose intrest and it migrates into my dresser. The book marker slips out at some point, which doesn't matter because I don't remember anything but names and a vague sense of the characters overall dissatisfaction with their place in life.
So lately I have been riding the bus a lot up to Seoul and waiting around in corporate coffee franchises(destroying small business one sip at a time.) Most of this is the kind schedule altering only done for a lady, which it is, but it creates all the perfect pockets of time to spend reading all the books I have lying around looking at me accusingly waiting to be picked up and read. This allowing them to become books-I've-read if not necessarily enjoyed instead of being $8.95-paper-weight-I-purchased-with-the-intention-of-reading. Catch-22 was not the first one I went back to when time began to present itself. I had assumed after failing the first time that the book was a "Classic."
I don't mean "Classic" in a good sense like an 11th grade English teacher(Mrs. Purvis I'm looking at you here) might ramble on about the finer points of Steinbeck, who I never cared for. I think I wrote something once about "two-dimensional characters I feel no empathy for." When I say classic I mean the books that "must be read" because they are "timeless." These are usually available in Penguin Books trade paper backs at a volume retailer in a mall parking lot near you. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with that, it's just a fact.
But 'Catch-22' proved to be far more entertaining than I had thought the first go around and as I read it I found most of the main characters points first absurd then shockingly insightful. Perhaps on par with a more recent reads' question of whether or not you would put a silver back mountain gorilla in the NFL if he was smart enough to both understand and enjoy the game while simultaneously agreeing not to intentionally hurt anyone. My first thought was "that's a horrible idea!" But as I have thought about it I realize two things: "Who am I to deny a sentient creature its pursuit of what it enjoys?" And more importantly: "That would be bad-ass!" I mean, who WOULDN'T want to see that? I detest most organized (human)sporting events but the thought of a gorilla vs. man-who-wants-to-be-gorilla is incredibly entertaining for me.So the book is read, and the only people who quote have nothing new to say themselves. But when you think about it all we do in this life is collect and regurgitate information anyway. Let me tell you about justice:

"Justice?" The colonel was astounded. "What is justice?"

"Justice, sir - "

"That's not what justice is," the colonel jeered, and began pounding the table again with his big fat hand. "That's what Karl Marx is. I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning. Garroting. That's what justice is when we've all got to be tough enough and rough enough to fight Billy Petrolle. From the hip. Get it?"

"No, sir."

"Don't sir me!"

"Yes, sir."

Something about this made me sure that the author was not under the influence of illegal narcotics but something far more powerful, the effects of to much caffeine and not enough sleep. When you waking mind dips momentarily into the land of dreams and come back with something that seems incredibly real and powerful. It makes total sense to you at the time. But later when you read it you wonder if perhaps you spent last evening playing operator with babelfish

I have spent more than the average person's share of time in this trance like state. I think its worst in the early evening between 4-7. I think coffee is just a way of redistributing time from when it is used least(after work) to when it is need most(after you have been pulled from a warm comfortable bed like an infant from the womb.) "By will alone, I set my mind in motion." Coffee stains the teeth, the teeth become a warning. "By will alone I set my mind in motion." Never mess with a Mentat after 5 cups of breakfast blend, he will cut you.Despite all the wonderful benefits of my legal, socially acceptable habit, I have been thinking again about kicking it. I will miss it in the morning. It has become more of a routine than a chemical addiction, which it ALSO is. But what prompts me to this "attempt" is people I have known for years in some cases telling me I look "so tired" which is bad or "so old" which may be worse. "I don't need this! If I want this kind of abuse, I will talk to my family."Which brings us BACK to 'Catch-22.' I started it on a plane to Korea from Seattle, seems fitting then that I finished on the way from Korea to Seattle. The flight was decent if not a little long. By the time I arrived in Seattle I had been awake for over 24 hours and headed to get a rental car. The nice man asked me if I got enough sleep on the plane before he handed me the key with a somewhat concerned look on his face. I assured him I did, though in reality a man of my size is RARELY comfortable in this life and NEVER comfortable in coach. Certainly not enough to sleep.My first time back in the States in 2 years and within an hour I am sitting behind the wheel of a car eating Jack-In-The-Box. I am glad to see the American Dream is still alive. I don't think I have ever seen a drive through restaurant in Korea. I am sure one exists somewhere, but my lack of a vehicle here has made finding one somewhat difficult. I think perhaps they are the answer to a question yet to be asked. I have seen a drive through Starbucks here though, some thing are just universal.
You own a cell phone. I was going to say probably and realized I am 5 years past probably. I have become the guy that is deathly afraid to be without a cell phone. Even if I probably won't need it, what if I do? If I need to call someone, I won't even know their number without the phone telling me. This was the dilemma I was faced with upon coming back, no cell phone. Luckily my fear only lasted about a day before Adam informed me I could use his extra and mail it back to him before I left to came back. That was an eerie feeling actually. Checking the phone one last time for messages, getting any last minute info I needed out of it, putting it into a box, and handing it to what may have been the most eccentric Kinko's crew I have run into(out of two, not such a big deal.)

Two-Tone-Hair-Girl: "You had a visitor while you were out."
Comic-book-store-guy: "Really, who?"
Two-Tone-Hair-Girl: "Your Mom."
Comic-book-store-guy: "Ya, right."
Two-Tone-Hair-Girl: "No seriously, tell him who was here!"
Nondescript-employee: "Some mean crazy lady attacked her."
Two-Tone-Hair-Girl: "See I told you!"

My life has become a movie, book, or music video possibly based on 70's era rock music requiring a hit of acid to truly comprehend. Traveling the subway gives me WAY to much time to think about nothing in particular. So I will end up people watching. Guessing things like quality of life, sexual preference, choice of dinner, or time and manner of death based on fashion choice, body language, tone of voice, facial expression, and color of ipod or cell phone. I don't have any hard data on how accrurate my predictions are. But I like to assume close to 100%.The special effects are pretty sweet bordering on chemical imbalance good. Snippets from each persons life popping up as my eyes pass from face to face looking for the similar in the dissimilar. And sometimes the familiar in the completely alien. I am judging them men, not by the contents of their characters, but by the Louis Vuitton man purse they have slung over their shoulder. I need to get my gay-dar re calibrated. I don't think it works in the 'Metro' setting.The culmination of yesterdays subway fantasy was the edgy guy I was standing next to for a few stops before mine. Turns out he is headed to the same place, but for EVIL! The second the train comes to a stop edgy dude busts past all the people standing waiting to get off the train and deposits a bundle on the ground before us and runs up the stairs. Upon reaching the turnstiles he realizes he doesn't have a ticket and starts pulling frantically on the gate to pass through without paying.Now I realize that what PROBABLY happened was that he really had to go to the bathroom and in the rush to get off the train he probably lost his ticket. The package? Little more than trash he didn't want to find a trash can for with to properly dispose of. Nobody looked even slightly alarmed by his erratic movement.
But in my heart I KNOW that Jack Bauer was on this guys trail. It's only a matter of time before he catches up with him and his bungled plot. He has stopped him, but that isn't enough. Oh no, not for Jack. He wants what's in your head little man and he means to get it. By the time Jack boy is done with you, you are going to WISH you were being water boarded in Guantanamo Bay little man. Jack has plans for you, and your knee caps. To Be Continued...

I Saw The Sun Beat Down Hard, And I Barreled...Through California!

2007-08-10T19:43:00.000+09:00

The rumors of my extinction have been greatly exaggerated. However I am now the last of my kind, please send donations to keep the Majestic Red Speckled North American Dane alive. I am only a MONTH late in getting the pictures up. Just feeling generally lazy and sticky do to the humidity. John and Hyun's wedding was fun I got to pretend I was a wedding photographer.

In exchange I was fed and allowed to live another month. A good deal for all considered I think. Let me say this though, if you are going to have wedding in Korea please don't do it in July or August. The whole country has the same weather as the inside of gym shorts after a vigorous workout. And I do mean that in EVERY possible way.Korean traditional dress is NOT light and airy. Don't let the colors fool you. This stuff weighs a ton and John was sweating most of the day. At this point he was suffering from heat stroke and dementia. Or perhaps he was just born like that, hard to say.

But in the end everything went well. No one caught the bouquet because they were posing for the picture when she threw it, or maybe they just don't do that here. I really don't know for sure. But, on the bright side, nobody lost and eye or got trampled for it as is so common at American wedding.

And we didn't know this person but, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, so cute!" So I snapped a shot and hoped the father wouldn't take offense at his baby being so cute. This is the dangerous face of an overpopulated world. If babies weren't so cute I could drive a Hummer fueled by the oil of endangered species. As it is there are just to many of us.

Its the New Gold Infact, it Will Keep Us All Intact

2007-07-01T23:39:00.000+09:00

It's been so hot. And the heat makes me bored. And that is no good. I rare;y post when I get bored not because I don't have pictures but because I have nothing to type with them. Seems like just putting up pictures would be lacking but a picture says a thousand words, so I don't have to.Mostly left to me would be recounting tales of stories told to us by cab drivers of questionable sanity. Or how I don't fit properly in most forms of human transport here. But I think I have gotten used to those things as a norm. I noticed this as I didn't have to think before literally ducking out of the subway train.So the abnormal has become the normal and fittingly(as the night follows the day?) the normal has become the abnormal. Mostly in reference to old habit , or perhaps we will call them hobbies, slipping to the wayside as I slip TOO comfortably into the daily grind of work. Suddenly after work I find myself wondering what I will do with the next 5 hours before I go to sleep.I admit that replacing my alarm clock with an automatic coffee pot has a lot to do with this. Sometimes whether we know it or not our bodies know what they are addicted to. And relish the fix. Perhaps to switch to decaf, or perhaps tea. But the old habits are taking back over. Finally finishing books I have been meaning to read for the last two years (thanks to long bus trips.)Other things my body prefers over sleep and a quick fix (wow that sounds like a bad drug addiction) include food and good entertainment. Being , specifically, music or a good movie (Lucky Number Slevin, hadn't seen it yet.) But combined with preparing food it is a religious experience, for me at least. The smells, sounds, sight, tastes, and sensations calm the mind, let you focus and think. And somehow make everything seem right in the world. So guacamole and salsa can lead to enlightenment and happiness. "Your room smells like Mexico." Never having been there I will take that as a compliment. Laugh, but there is a certain meditative quality to the tips of your fingers going numb from cutting Serrano peppers, and I saw Buddha after rubbing said fingers in my eyes. Though he looked more "burny" than I would have imagined. More fun that that though was the above trip. Have to do it again sometime.

끝

I'm Going to the Moon, I Hope You Make it Soon

2007-06-07T21:46:00.000+09:00

Apologies, I'm told I need to update more frequently. Just never seemed to get around to sitting down in a mood to do it. Not really all that much work but lately it has been hot and humid. Summer in Korea.The pictures are from Brian And Hyerim's wedding album photo shoot I tagged along on. The real photographer didn't even seem to get upset with me. This is just one of those dissimilarities between American and Korean culture. Koreans typically have the wedding photos before the wedding in a studio instead of the wedding day at the ceremony. Or at least I have never SEEN it done this way before.
Brian was looking all James Bond. This took almost 5 hours, and it was hot. They had to wipe the brows of our subjects several times. But the mood was kept light and the photographer was entertaining. He even took a shot of all four of us as a "souvenir" at the end. Hair make-up and clothes were handled by the women Brian lovingly referred to as "The Handler." They moved from set to set inside the studio starting with the window side shots in formal dress and moving to...Indoor shots in traditional dress or "Hanbok." Very colorful and decorative and as I am told "freakin hot!" Apparently you are NOT supposed to dress in layers for summer.Brian says that purple was the manliest color choice he had available to him. I think he pulled it off OK, but I'm he didn't try a pink. It was an option. Korean males wear pink more than any other country I have seen... And I have been to three whole countries. ;)Junghee arrived fashionably late and fashionably dressed to be amused at the discomfort of her friends. We did NOT set off the weight sensor alarm in the elevator when the whole crew got on board... but it was close and many eyes focused on me. "This is as small as I get without cremation."
We are hot and we are slightly bored on the weekdays. To hot to go out, to hot to think indoors. But the weather has made me more inclined to read again. Books don't generally produce as much heat as my computers, well at least not since the late 30's early 40's. "Naturlich!"

Instead We're The People That We Wanted To Know, And We're The Places That We Wanted To Go.

2007-04-15T20:01:00.000+09:00

Went to Everland this weekend, which is basically the Korean Disneyland. Up to and including the theme songs for each sector of the park. Some more annoying than others. This week was "Flower Carnival - The festival of flowers full of sweet odor in the world." Somebody has been using babelfish again.

정희! (Junghee)

혜림(Hyerim)

And the friendliest of all the monkeys in friendly monkey valley...
Brian.

We watched all the rides but rode none of them. The lines sometimes over 60 minutes. The weather was gorgeous and it was a Saturday so there was a lot of people, as should be expected. This is the Columbus adventure... I am assuming they lost the 'Santa Maria' but don't worry when you get off the 'Nina' and the 'Pinta' you still get to unjustly displace the indigenous population. The only rides we will see this day are the "subway" and the "Stand on the Bus" ride to Kangnam. It's a fun ride if you picked the right people to travel with. ;)

This dog was orphaned to my shoulder after being deemed not cute enough by his owner. I gave him a good home until someone took pity on him and gave him a good home.

It is said you can see Brian's eyes light up when he plays games or gambles. This game mixes both. So imagine his happiness as he sicked 'The Claw' on the unsuspecting creatures within the glass box. Luckily for them the claw was feeling a bit under the weather. I think it was actually designed to give stuffed animals massages.

Hyerim and Junghee sit beneath a rather innocent looking bear holding an axe, at first I thought to chop down the "Secret" forest which lies behind my friends. But the more I think about it I think it is a weapon. "Don't taunt the bear, I don't think he's fooling around."

There was water and children so simple math will tell you that there was a lot of soaked children running around. A man standing next to us uttered in Korean what I had been thinking as I saw this fountain turn off for a moment. "If you could run through there fast enough..."

Oh dear. I think this touching but incredibly sappy show of affection is actually illegal in 16 of the 48 contiguous States. But remember that 86.7% of all facts are made up on the spot.

I took me forever to figure out what this meant. But I am not going to ruin the magic for you. I ran every word through my head several times before I found the clue I needed elsewhere in the park. I thought maybe they sold 'Astronaut Ice cream.'Hyerim says, "Noooooooooooooo!"

What is a tired thirsty cowboy looking for a way out supposed to do?!?!

The disappointed camel doesn't say anything, and doesn't need to.And in other news... Naoko came back for a short time this weekend from Japan to see the class and see a concert with her mother. Whew... busy weekend.

The Camera Won't Let Me Go, And the Verdict Doesn't Love Our Soul

2007-04-06T15:24:00.000+09:00

I had a good reason to go to Seoul, so I thought I would take some pictures while I was there. The weather was amazing this "weekend." It had been quite cold up until Thursday morning then suddenly it was sunny and warm.So I end up carrying around my winter coat in my backpack all day. But the trade off in the weather was definitely worth it. In fact the weather was a little TOO good. I ended up a little bit sunburned on my face. I think I needed the color.
I think I covered about 20 miles this weekend on foot and my other foot isn't to happy about it either. I've never been a big fan of blisters, but it could be worse I could be one of these guys.
For some reason the first thing I thought of when I saw this statue was "working in the retail industry." That is the kind of profound life altering effect my life in sales and delivery had on me.
When you draw comparisons to being impaled through the back to the job you do you know it's time to quit. Or perhaps these poor clerks' cries for help went unnoticed and this is how they "got out of work." The inner geek in me, which is really an outer geek I suppose, REALLY enjoys the "Jabba's Palace" aspect of this building and the "Han-Solo-in-carbonite-esque" hand sort of sealed the deal for me.
This was pretty much it for the Seoul Art Center that day. I like to wander around the place even when I don't have a reason. It's usually relatively empty and quiet. And in Seoul those are luxury commodities I have come to prize highly.
This is our old friend "Technicolor-Dream-Fish." He lives on Yoido, which is the "island" on which the Korean National Assembly building stands as well as Korea's answer to Wall Street and of course the 63 Building, tallest in Korea.
I had originally come just to see the famous cherry blossom festival but I noticed people passing freely through the government area and thought I would take a look. I had never been inside before.
This is my new favorite rock monster. He is pretty awesome and for some reason reminds me of "Barkley" the giant dog from 'Sesame Street.' He looks friendly yet dangerous. Like someones pet tiger, cute till it mauls either Siegfried or Roy.
Can't go wrong with chrome canyons and fountains. Not to mention at least five bus loads of tourists. I didn't realize how long I had been here until I looked at these people and thought of them as tourists. Even though I was holding a camera and walking around with a backpack.

Hard to feel at "home" in a place where you are sometimes starred at like a celebrity and stick out like a sore thumb. I am starting to get used it, I suppose. It has it's advantages, if you look like you know where you are going and why you are there you can get in places you're not suppose to go. And if you are friendly, which I am trying to be, you meet interesting people...Which brings us to this gentleman. He flagged me down from the other side of the park. He seems to be the Korean Yoda. He talked to me for a while, complimented my Korean, and then told me to take his picture. This is what he calls his "lifestyle" pose.He was very friendly and seemed interested in photography. He offered me some pointers on natural framing. But it was in Korean and I think I missed some of it. Yoido Park was lively in flora and fauna. I count people as fauna as well as the birds and the bees. And why not I say, WHY NOT?!?!
These are available in several parks in Seoul that I have visited. Walking on them is supposed to massage your feet I believe, but my feet were not looking forward to this kind of massage.This is a sweet ride, and if I was not male, straight, and gigantic, I would be driving one. Adding to the coolness factor was the license plate sporting a Japanese cartoon cat that makes things it wishes for appear out of a pouch in it's stomach. I bet it turns into a robot too."I will have one art, please." The cherry blossom festival featured art projects all along the sidewalk. Varying in quality from "Can I put that in my museum?" to "Sir, you can't leave your trash here." I liked this one.
Most of them were still being constructed when I came by. It was a little early on the first day of the festival. I'm getting a feeling that I missed out on the real festivities at night, but hey, some of us work. And from time to time, so do I.This one was simple but I liked it a lot. I hope they ate everything in the cans, though. I had this picture in my mind when I saw it. "Last minute idea: Soup Can Plants! Let's go to the store and buy thirty cans of whatever is cheap and dump them in the toilet." That's why I would have gone with "vinegar and baking soda powered paper mache volcano." It was still a little cold outside... In the park where I met Yoda I found this statue which I really like but has a yellow rope surrounding it. Which of course leaves me on my behind trying to get as much of the statue as possible while still cropping out the rope.I think my less than dignified posture drew the interest of Yoda in the first place it was second after taking this picture that I starting hearing calls of "Hello" from the other side of the park.
The National Assembly Building, while being gigantic is only slightly larger than a branch of cherry blossoms. BEHOLD the magical power of perspective! "You're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly upon our own point of view."The business men outnumbered the cyclist 10 to 1. The poor little guy never had a chance. The trees go on for many a kilometer. A very nice walk for the week and a half the season lasts. But luckily there are other flowers blooming now. Adding a lot of color to the rather drab landscape of Seoul in winter.This of course was slightly masked by the infamous "yellow dust from China." Which leaves a fine sprinkling of grit on your car each morning like some sick automotive version of the Sandman. To be honest, the smog that existed before the Gobi Desert showed up doesn't feel that good on the lungs either.
But for this day the only thing hanging over people's heads that seemed to be attracting attention was the cherry blossoms. Prettier and harder to inhale than dust or smog, and one import that hasn't brought the ire of protester(s) [there was only one this day] in the street like the FTA.Back to work tomorrow, the usual grind. Just another cog in the machine, greased up and covered in teeth. Uh... The cog, not me.

And I Dreamed Through the Rainy Night, and I Managed to Sleep Alright.

2007-03-31T17:18:00.000+09:00

Spring is here, and while that means Daylight Saving Time for you suckers in the States, in Korea it means the cherry blossoms are out. And they have been so for a few weeks now, actually.
My language classes have ended and it is back to the usual grind. Which is in some twisted way refreshing I suppose. To change out of your old routine for a new one is a nice change of pace and not a shabby vacation either but falling back into your old life is like putting on old sneakers: They are dirty and they stink, but they are comfortable and get you where you need to go. ;)Work is not the only thing I have brought back into my life, my old exercise routine is back too. And three months without running was paid for today in spades. It feels like a cross between getting hit by a truck (I imagine, lacking actual experience in these matters) and a really wicked case of the flu. No, scratch that, the bird flu! I will have to take it slow for a while to get back into the running. I did miss that "after-run-feeling." Nothing quite like it.How does one recover from such an encounter with becoming healthy? I'm glad you asked, and so--are--you! First we get in some serious leg stretches and then a really hot shower. Then we move to the "liquid refreshment" stage, lots of water and Tazo (r) Zen [TM] Tea. The package has a story about monks on it but it's mint flavored and Kosher and that's all that matters!Unfortunately, liquid refreshment stage ONE failed to accomplish it's goal so it is currently being reinforced by "Liquid Refreshment 2: The Sequel!" This sequel appears to be a bottle of REALLY GOOD 2005 Kendall-Jackson Pinot Noir. And similar to the tea, it's container tells me stories, stories of shaded hillside vineyards and aged oak barrels lending a subtle cola flavor with hints on cinnamon and vanilla. But to be honest I think Ken Griffey Jr. summed it up best: "It's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited." Not bad for the price of one PP (Potential Pizza n. Unit of currency equal to approximately 10-20 USD depending on local market value of pizza. -Ch'Dorr)My room has reached OCD levels of clean once again allowing me to relax in such a luxurious manner. I can't seem to truly rest unless my universe is in order. My class mates at Yonsei would tell you this is because I am an A blood type. A types are said to be rather orderly and neat, but what they DIDN'T seen is my room back home before my current employment bestowed upon me this need for order. Be this as it may, I do seem to recall my kitchen was typically clean before and after use.
Before me sits this monolith of a computer I have constructed. To sort my photos, play my music, show me TV programs, play games, contact the outside world, keep up on world events, learn, and in short enslave me to my digital master the Internet. Which is why I am just getting around to posting pics I took almost two weeks ago now. And they thought the TV was evil when it came out. If I could just teach this thing to make food... This is another week/month for good-byes it seems. Almost two weeks ago I said good by to my classmates and now that I have returned to work it seems many of my coworkers/friends are leaving as well. That's just part of the work I suppose but they will be missed. I am going to lose my smallest friend, my loudest friend, and my most vegetarian (maybe, but she doesn't even like tofu... that's pretty vegetarian) friend all in one month. I am going to need more coffee at work to keep me awake now. Well, not really all so bad when you get down to it. My free time lately has allowed me to catch up on 'Lost' and 'Prison Break.' "You got suckered into that too?" I was asked... more like sucked into but yes. It is entertaining and even more so when you don't have to WAIT for the new episodes. It's really BETTER I think to realize you like a show a year or two after it has been out. Makes the first viewing experience more satisfying somehow. Speaking of TV addiction I need to see who Colbert slandered tonight... or yesterday. I never know which anymore. "Curse your spherical Earth!"

FIN

These Are The Seas In Our Minds We Make Our Own Confine In Time.

2007-03-12T23:28:00.000+09:00

Nothing much to report, I had a latte today. Chatted with a friend and watched Pursuit of Happiness. Depressing and uplifting.

Needed a mind cleansing laugh after that though. This seemed to work.

See The Time Of Yesterday Become The Time That We Have Today

2007-03-11T21:42:00.000+09:00

Alley in Insdong

Busy week, so just some pictures. Saw the Muse concert this weekend and it was "Freakin Awesome" more so than I thought it was going to be. The crowd was really into it and I think the band was playing off of that a lot. The mirrored guitar and lighting helped a lot too.

Tree in Namsan Park

Cat Purse in Insadong

Dragon under Namdaemun

Korean Flag at Night beneath the Newspaper Museum

Spaceship Monster Egg Art Thingy

I Was Meant for Applause I Was Meant for Derision

2007-02-27T23:18:00.000+09:00

We had the play contest today at school. Our class did much better than we all thought. Our entry was short and to the point. No one seemed to mind though. None of us forgot our lines and my portrayal of a Seoul city bus driver snagged me a prize for best in my class. But your not going to see a picture of that because, GUESS who took all the pictures?

Commentary on knock off merchandise with misspelled brand names.

The natives are restless.

"So you come here often?"

"BE the ice sculpture... why do I always have to be the ice sculpture?"

"Is this a bad time to tell you there is a spider on your back?"

"I called to tell you... YOUR LINES! AMATEUR!"

"Hang loose... no seriously, or I will cut you."

They are like little angels.

They just elected to have class on stage instead of performing.

This is the Kimchi Ranger... Even if I explained it it wouldn't make sense.

She says she's a dude. Just play along till the cops get here.

"A number 3 with fries and a Coke. Make it international conglomerate sized for a dollar more?"

Oscar moment, stand back.

"What EXACTLY is a studded leather time collar?"

I do believe some one has the vapors.

Just keep a straight face for 5 more minutes Alex.

This poor man is under the impression that he is a company.

Our Announcers.

"Circles... she's spinning me in circles... again."

Fin.

When We Lost the Human Race All Our Brains Got Replaced And These Robots Never Laugh at My Jokes

2007-02-25T22:55:00.000+09:00

It's my birthday again. And a pretty good one at that. In fact I would say the best in recent memory. My class was getting together to practice a play and surprised me with a cake! 여러분들이... 고마워! 재미있어. The play is running on the short side of the 7 minutes we were supposed to make it but considering our total lack of effort and high class morale I am not to worried. Word on the street is the other classes are actually fighting over this. Very 4th Grade.Some of the class. Not in any order of importance, but just the pictures I like the most. I have gotten in trouble with people before for this. It's not a popularity contest but simply a mix of good lighting and being photogenic. Doesn't mean I talk to you less. :) (경노씨)In the play she plays a rather abusive stalker, in real life not creepy or abusive. :) We spent a lot of time practicing our lines... both of them were very difficult. (미유키씨)
Some made greater sacrifices for the cause than other. For the role she has to hide her girlish figure and pretend to be pregnant. I believe this picture was taken right after someone said it looks natural on her and asked her who the father was. (나오코씨)
Some people got more into the role than others our friend here is playing the lover of a philandering husband. And is currently being berated by the Mrs. (마이씨)
Here we have the aforementioned philanderer. He was getting a little TOO into the part at times. :) (잘즈씨)After practice I dumped the camera and went out with some of the class to eat some really good sushi, drink an over priced Guinness and enjoy 3 hours of pretty decent jazz at Once in a Blue Moon. Probably my favorite place in Seoul. "If I was a rich man..."
"All in all a successful trip." And back to school tomorrow. See if I can learn a little more Korean and forget a little more English. "It's proportional!"

In a City That Kills by Constriction Throw Your Streets Around Me and Squeeze

2007-02-19T20:32:00.000+09:00

The weekend in pictures, not in any particular order. It was Lunar New Year this weekend. The streets were less crowded and shops were closed. Bizarre for a city of this size. But Koreans are pretty serious about this holiday. Except the ones who went to Wolmido in Incheon instead of to their ancestral homelands. "For shame! You should be at Grandma's house eating homemade french fry covered corn dogs... hmmm."
This horse could use a holiday too. I have a special soft spot for beasts of burdens, being one my self from time to time. The saddest thing about this gig is the easier it is for the horse in the short run the worse in the long run.
The cars here are smaller than I had thought. And I don't think they are going to make the safety standards needed for import to the States. "You will have to lower something else and put neon on it."
I'm not saying the town was empty, but we had an entire subway car to ourselves. For a few stops at least. For the first time I contemplated stretching out and going to sleep on the subway.
I was trying to take pictures of Incheon's famous China Town and made a car commercial instead. Such is life. "Hyundai: We are FAR better than we used to be. Promise."
Popular sport of the bored world wide: Step Sittin'. Notice the large amount of red in China Town. It is seriously how you can tell when you have entered and exited the district.
Normally on this holiday you will visit family all day bringing traditional gifts of toilet paper and citrus dressed in your Sunday best. This family decided to take a break for Chinese food. I support their decision. It was delicious. If you are going to eat Chinese food in Korean this is the place to do it.

Standing at the crossroads in China Town.

An assortment of a cellphone bling. Something no one should live with out if they live within Korea. Not sure was kind of signals you are sending sporting a skull and cross bones with a heart eye patch. But if you just HAVE to be "different like everyone else..."
I believe the man's order is apparent but where we will find a doobee fit for a king I have no idea.
A hazy sunset in one of Seoul's many palaces. A place to sit and rest your feet and drink your "Qoo." "It's not even phonetically correct!"
Group picture! Friends from class at the palace. Together we represent 3/7 of the G7 nations. "This is a profoundly unjust system, where official creditors exercise the upper hand at all stages of the international financial game. The IMF and World Bank, always anxious to impose market forces on the poorest countries..." "Does this mean you're not paying for dinner?"
It keep ships from beaching themselves 3 kilometers inland from the harbor AND holds up a paper lantern. Efficient yet elegant.

Peace! We later poured out a 40oz. of Tsingtao for all of our homies.

A traditional Korean game being played, with more skill than I could muster, at the Namsan Traditional Korean House Village. Similar to most games on the planet, if it goes in it's good.

Traditional Korean kites on a traditional Korean wall in a traditional Korean house. "BEHOLD!"

"You know, for kids!"

"I'm a mushroom, I'm a mushroom, I'm a mushroom..." "IMPOSTOR! SLAY HIM!"

"I may have the mind and body of a weak and feeble woman but I have the heart and stomach of a concrete elephant." And this is where we leave you this week. By the Cheongye stream, downtown Seoul. Nearly deserted compared to normal standards. The people were trickling back in today though. I'm sure everything will be back to normal tomorrow.

North South East and West Foreign Land is Right and Left

2007-01-31T20:00:00.000+09:00

"Sloane dear, come to daddy." Honestly the first thing that entered my mind after taking this picture. People are asking if classes here are going well, so to all wondering, everything is fine. Taking a bit of getting used to the student life again, but it's been really fun for the most part and only slightly tedious at times.
The student here are a bit more diverse here than back home. My class is pretty evenly distributed between Japanese, Chinese, American, and Other. "I used to summer in Other but lately I haven't afforded myself the time."
Sometimes the only language we can efficiently (I use the word loosely) converse in is Korean. Which is excellent practice I desperately need. The teachers make you speak more than I was used to which at first made the lazy side of me a bit uneasy. But over the past few weeks I have become a lot more comfortable speaking in and to groups of people in a language I wield like a kid with his dad's gun.
Topics do not get very diverse unfortunately and if they do we all scramble for our electronic dictionaries. Most of time you can't speak as directly as you would like so you talk around the problem. For instance, instead of saying I am frustrated because I'm at a loss for words. I would say something like "Not being able to say what I want makes me feel bad." And while this is true I feel like a 6 year old when I say things like this.
I guess working in an unfamiliar environment or language makes you examine your behavior more closely. Similar to my first thought about how bizarre Korean advertising is or how pointless some of the news stories seemed. But then upon examining similar things I see on a daily basis in English I realized its about even.
The key is communication, if you get your point across nothing else really matters. The rest is just polishing up your words to make yourself sound smarter or more eloquent. (eloquence is directly related to your use of the word eloquence BTW) Unfortunately I am NOT yet at the point where I can get my point across.
Long pauses trying to think of a word you learned long ago, spitting out syllables in hope of somebody finishing the word for you, and wild hand gestures are common occurrences. Which makes class fun and that seems to be important in language study. I find I will remember words and sentences said long ago just because they were part of an interesting story or insane joke. Sometimes even just the manner in which it was spoken was enough to stick it to that tiny part of my brain that retains Korean.

Hopefully the time I have remaining here will be enough to remind me of most of what I have forgotten and teach me a few new things as well. It is far more fun than I had anticipated and therefore is going by so much faster than I would like. Makes me wish I was here for the full course.
The class had a get together after class today for lunch, coffee, and a mad scramble for class member's phone numbers and emails. Which should make for more such events in the future. The conversation flowed more freely than it normally does in class, and even students who had a language in common outside Korean stuck to Korean so that everyone present could stay with the conversation. They say that alcohol encourages conversation, but I think caffeine works equally well.
I am actually looking forward to class tomorrow. This will come as a shock to anyone who remembers my High School career. This might have something to do with my reacquainting with coffee addiction and the existence of a rather cheap and convenient vending machine down the hall from my class. "Delicious 15 cent instant coffee."
As for my out of class activities, photography has taken a rather serious hit until recently due to the 'colder I once thought possible' weather and the rather unpleasant air quality on still and cold winter days. Nothing is quite as boring as gray streets and building combined with overcast conditions and a healthy(unhealthy?) dose of air pollution. It would be great if I was making a film about the 'post-apocalyptic-world-of-tomorrow' but I am not... YET.

"Keep reachin' for that rainbow champ."

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream, For Ice Cream

2007-01-29T20:54:00.000+09:00

"Be mesmerized by the weakest goatee in Korea!" Ok, maybe not the weakest, but I am looking pretty shabby lately. Those fingerless gloves are starting to sound better and better. If it wasn't for the sleeping on benches and smelling like yak urine I might be down with the homeless look. I already scream at inanimate objects. I thought people were supposed to be happy when they ate ice cream but Brian proves that not necessarily to be the case. It's not that he doesn't enjoy it but that he enjoys it on a completely different level from you and I. This man can taste COLORS, or at least he claimed to once in front of a Taco Bell in Cali. Good times.
혜 림 on the other hand is enjoying the ice cream and showing it through the "human thing we call" facial expressions. Well, there is another $5 I have to pay the Gene Roddenberry estate. We didn't JUST go get ice cream, for those worried about my health, there was a rather healthy Korean meal before this consisting of meat and garlic wrapped in various leaves. ...and rice. "말밥이지!"
The only picture of 정희 NOT mysteriously erased from my camera. So I am assuming she liked this one. [If not let me know and I will erase it. :)] If you take pictures of women, be prepared to hand them the camera so they can decide which ones get to exist. Entropy in action.

And for the the answer to the question nobody asked: "Can Three Koreans and a Giant fit in a photo booth at the same time." The answer: "Yes, but not comfortably." I was kneeling for these pictures. Somewhat surreal not just that I was IN a photo booth, but that the photo booth was called Model School and obviously marketed to girls between the ages of 12-18. "When in Rome... Actually I don't think that applies to this situation."

끝

We Drive to Leave the Past and Clear the Mind to Watch the Sunset Set its Time

2007-01-22T22:32:00.000+09:00

Sometimes life is no day at the beach... But in this case it actually was a day at the beach. Two and a half hours south of Seoul on the West Sea you will find Anmyeondo or Anmyeon Island.("doh" at the end usually means island or province and has nothing to do with Homer Simpson and has no affiliation with the Fox Network or their lackey dog news network) The weather this weekend was surprisingly warm during the day for winter and frighteningly cold as soon as the sun went down. But everybody seemed to be making the most of it.
What can I say, I love traffic signs. This seemed to be more of an editorial on my ability to learn Korean than a caution to motorists. In fact as far as I could tell nobody reduced their speed here until it turned into a parking lot traffic jam later. Good thing they were selling snacks a few meters down the walk from this sign.

Everyone in Korea has a camera, some just know it better than others. I believe about 99.9% of the population has a cell phone and almost all of those have cameras. The subway ride home last night gave me an insight into Korean "techno culture." I was witness to a man that may have been over 80 years old sending a text message. "Probably a message to 'those kids' to 'get off his front lawn.'" So much easier than all the screaming and rake waving that used to be required.
"Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore..." to raise money for her speech therapy. Poor girl can't get through more than half of her explanation before people start laughing at her. There was a spot on the beach far more littered with the bodies of our clam cousins ("Xenu comes for us!"), and at one point the crunching noises were a bit unsettling.

"If I had a hammer..." I had assumed I wouldn't throw it in the ocean, but perhaps that was in the Leonard Nimoy version of the song. I want to believe there was a reason for this to be here. Because I have been reading the blog of artist that tends toward the "public installation" variety, and I don't want to find out this was hers. It would be far to derivative o her earlier work 'Who Put this Dead Whale in the Middle of a Construction Site in Downtown Seoul?' "It speaks to the common man. Am I the whale? Do I belong here? Can I survive in a concrete ocean? These are questions you must ask yourself." Of course five minutes later she was informed that any answers she had to these questions could and would be used against her in a court of law.This fence was built in the late 60's to separate the Peoples Democratic Sand from the Republican Sand, and as you can see, it is doing a bang up job of it too. "Bamboo: Ideological Sieve of Our Time"
No man is an island but, apparently, one can build their own island given enough time and a proper tide table. This one will be cover 30 minutes after this picture is taken. The tides on this side of Korea are severe to say the least. The beach is so shallow an expansive that people can walk almost a kilometer out in some places. But I can tell you from watching it happen, it comes back in quick and takes people off guard. Many went home with wet pants this weekend, some for more than one reason.

'Jacks of the Gods' Artificial harbors need a little help sometimes, it's nothing to be ashamed of. So many of these, must be fun to watch them bring them in. Some are haphazardly stacked but on the other side they are arranged in a geometric pattern. Like a cross between Lego's and Tetris but in cement on a rather serious scale.
All of this to maintain the natural habitat of... Ok not that natural. But the food is, and it doesn't get much more fresh than this. Most of the things that will be served to you on a pier in Korean will have been alive second before it hits your tongue. Not for the squeamish, a bit of an acquired taste.
Yes, I am still alive. And sporting a sparse and unflattering beard because A) I can and B) I don't feel like shaving. But it is starting to itch a bit and I am thinking about trimming it down to a "faith shaking goatee" "Can you handle it?"
To us, boats. They seem harmless enough and provide us with fresh delicious seafood. But from the point of view of the seafood these are Space Ship Death Factories full of a giant blood thirsty race of aliens bent on the destruction of their kind... "You don't see THAT on Sponge Bob Square Pants!" Perhaps people want their children protected from the truth.
On a planet far far away... Someone is NOT having lens flare issues resulting in a picture that seems to suggest we are living in a binary star system. As plausible as Mark Hamil made this seem... (About as plausible as his acting.) We have but one star.
I'm not sure about Japan, but Korea may have the worlds largest population of amateur photographers in the world. An hour before the sun sets they begin to gather. I honestly thought I had an original idea when I said "Hey let's head back to that beach and get a picture of the sunset." It's nice to know I have a one of a kind picture that nobody else but me and 200 Koreans per day can enjoy for a lifetime. Oh well... It's a nice picture. And I liked the other photographers so much I put them in my picture. I'm not in theirs, as I tend to block the sun. :)

I Will Not Go To Sleep I Will Train My Eyes To See

2007-01-15T17:56:00.000+09:00

A sign that you desperately need shoes: When you take pictures of other peoples shoes. At this point I have little else to complain about. Existence is treating me well. Just existing is pretty good if you consider the alternative of NOT existing. Then on top of that I am back to school learning Korean at Yonsei. A lot less stress this go around. Learn at your leisure. I find myself more inclined to study in this atmosphere. In addition to the inclination to study the environment in conducive as well. Only one other person in my class speaks English with any proficiency making you use the language if you want to communicate with anyone else. I wish I had had this opportunity a while ago, like the FIRST time I studied Korea. :)

So the location is a spot better than I am used to. Pretty much the dead center of Seoul now. So hopefully if I can pull myself away from studies and glue my camera to my hand I can get some decent pictures around town. Winter is not the best time but I would like to make the most of this. The scenery would be more appealing if it were covered in snow, but we have got any in a while and may be quite some time before we get more. Until then it's a colorless, cold wasteland of people dressed head to toe in the warmest shades of black and gray they can find. Perhaps time to switch to black and white.
Well, we shall see I still have a solid two months plus to get out a little. Hoping for some early afternoon releases from class or holidays. And seriously resisting the urge to skip class and putz around town. I am quite relaxed here though, maybe I will finally read some of those books I have been meaning to start. BTW: It's cold outside, scarves are good, so is hot spicy soup on a cold day. You appreciate different things in this weather. The body heat of 200 other people in the subway car with you. Personal space at a minimum, but toasty. A cup of warm water never tasted so good either.

How Can I Give You the Answers You Need When All I Possess is a Melody?

2007-01-04T00:16:00.000+09:00

Some pictures to say a few thousand words about my New Years. First a word from our sponsors at Chamisul. It just wouldn't be a Korean holiday with out a bottle of soju I suppose... In the background you can ALMOST make out dinner: Clams roasting on an open fire grill. I was sick and this was still delicious.

Alcohol is a must for most "human celebrations" but so is setting things on fire. And there seemed to be no shortage of that. With about 50 fireworks vendors scattered along the beach Roman candles were going off everywhere. Unfortunately the trash from all of the colorful displays seemed to find its way into the ocean. "And that makes me a SAD PANDA!"
And of course the third staple of any celebration, transvestites. Wait, that might not be entirely correct. But there WAS dudes dressed as chicks and last time I checked that is the official definition of:

trans·ves·tite [trans-ves-tahyt]
–noun a person, esp. a male, who assumes the dress and manner usually associated with the opposite sex.

[German Transvestit : Latin trāns-, trans- + Latin vestīre, to dress; see travesty.]

trans·ves'tism (-tĭz'əm), trans·ves'ti·tism (-tĭ-tĭz'əm) n.

Wait, where was I? Ok, New years, DaeChun, fireworks, clams, soju, the beach, and did I mention the 5 hour trip back in the car. It only took us an hour and a half to GET there in the first place, but the trip back was monstorous. During holidays everyone heads OUT of Seoul which seems great until you are headed BACK in that direction with 22 Million Seoulites. "Boourns on that action."

I'm about to head up to Seoul for a few months to learn some more Korean and hopefully take some pictures. I will attempt to stay in touch with everyone and maybe even write a blog entry or two. But if I don't your first assumption should NOT be that I am dead (Mom), or that I am abducted by Alien Robot Ninja Clowns (... for the last TIME, Josh). I will probably just be a bit busy, again., as usual.Good luck to everyone this new year, I hope it is better than the last. I have a pretty good feeling the world isn't going to end this year. Everyone knows that isn't going to happen till December 21, 2012.

Merry Christmas! 명절잘지내세요!

2006-12-25T19:03:00.000+09:00

Don't Try To Write Your Name In The Clouds From The Ground

2006-12-20T23:09:00.000+09:00

Back to the east coast

Winter in Korea, surprise, it's cold.

The roads are like snow cones, fun and full of slush.

It's a bike... um, yeah.

If a bear freezes to death in the forest and no one is there to hear it...

Chances that this is still standing are slim.

The ship may have been to big for the pond...

A lot to big....

And a lighthouse might have helped here...

She looked cold...

This just seems cruel to the boats...

SNACKS!

Don't these look like big strong hands?

Dessert!

Man It´s Warm Let´s Just Sleep Outside and See the Sky Reflects Our Fire

2006-12-10T11:07:00.000+09:00

"Lloyd Bridges isn't dead!" Apparently he just moved to Seoul and got a job at Lotte World playing Santa in the holiday parade.

Lotte World of course being Korea's answer to a question that was never asked. "Can you scale down Disneyland and put most of it indoors?" The answer is yes you can. And it is actually a lot of fun. It has been a while since I have been on a ride at an amusement park, but it is still fun. Especially a 200 foot fall on the Gyro Drop.

It snows inside here during the parade. I am sure the children were to enthralled with the effect of indoor snow to notice it was soap suds and it was, "LANDING ON MY CAMERA LENS!"

Two gentlemen of perhaps Russian origin juggling. Earlier I think my presence distracted this guy's friend and he dropped the hats he was juggling. "Sorry."

Well, what could better wrap up the experience or say "Merry Christmas" more than the friendly Lotte Corporation's Lotte World mascot raccoon dressed as an elf, riding a unicorn, on what appears to be a giant birthday cake. "Happy Birthday Jesus!"

What They Want, I Don't Know, They're All Reved Up And Ready To Go

2006-12-02T23:05:00.000+09:00

"But it's Christmas!" Well, that it may be but we are losing some of our friends this week. In this line of work you meet a lot of interesting people and you end up parting with all most as many of them. But good luck to all of them in there new locations, jobs, lives.Kris is off to Chicago to become the greatest Physician/Korean Translator in history. Good luck.Cari is headed to points east to redefine how we think about office paperwork, and drawing pictures of butts and katamari(is that plural?) on peoples doors.
Our good friend and travel companion Ruthie (OH!) will also be headed into the east. She keeps talking about some hot guy in Georgia... don't think I ever caught his name. :) "You kids have fun!"And of course last, but not least, Chad. Work will not be the same without you, Because when you aren't around we actually work. And we are going to need you to come back and give us breaks from time to time. Enjoy Hawaii, good luck to you and your family. "You are a tight bangin' mofo!"

And We Do What We Need to Be Free. And It Leans on Me Like a Rootless Tree.

2006-11-11T22:42:00.000+09:00

"I'm saying there is a very real possibility that your mother and father were related, and YOU are the fruit of their forbidden passion. YOU are 'Frobidden Passion Fruit.'"156,000 volts just begging to be touched

"The past is past and what's mine is mined."

"Nobody lose your travel buddy!"

The fruit may be hallucinagenic, or some new breed of winged bear is on the loose.

Yep, it's still fall, and 0 degrees out.

"A story as old as time. Bird watches man, man watches woman, woman ignores them both."

"'Come on, Carl!' 'Waters great, Carl' 'Shark attacks are less likely than getting struck by lightning, Carl.' MY LOWER HALF WOULD DISAGREE WITH YOU!"

I hope this man is catch and release.

"Gort said he would be out in a minute. No sudden movements, he get's excited when he meets new peoples."

"Summer is over when I SAY it's over."

Can't wait till this thing freezes over.

They spent all their money on musical instruments and beer, they are down to just ramen.Traffic jams never looked so magical.This guy is awesome, I don't know who he was but I didn't want to leave. I should have stay and let him play the sun down, but I felt the need to move.Sun goes down, maybe I will do this again tomorrow.

I Wrote More Postcards Than Hooks, I Read More Maps Than Books.

2006-11-04T16:07:00.000+09:00

Sokcho Harbor at night. Sweet light house, good seafood.Sokcho's version of an alarm clock. "It's 7am do you know where YOUR backhoe is?"

Buddha hides in the bushes, we call the cops.

Sorak Mountain is well known for it's autumn leaves.

"No Stairway? Denied!""You've been workin' hard, you deserve a break."

At first you want to complain because there are so many stairs, then you think about how hard this would be without them and shut your mouth.

"Make like a tree, and get out of here!"

Praying or taking a picture seemed to be the options here. "I've never been a religious man."

Paul at rest tends to remain at rest until acted upon by an outside force.

No gorillas here, unless you count me.

"Much easier than stairs!"

Smooth ride up to the top. "Sweet Swiss engineering!"

Art imitates life, or at least rocks imitate other rocks. "Crazy humans."

"A little over-dressed for mountain climbing, aren't we?"

Sadly, the tree pushed the man off the cliff when he wasn't suspecting it.

"Don't jump Paul! You have so much to live for!"

Night passes, we awake in Busan, or Gyeunju, or both. "Woah, it's a Magic Bus."History Vs. Technology. "Man Vs. Self?"

"See the turtle, enormous in girth. On his shell, he holds..." What appeared to be a large drum.

"Strength of the base of the pillar" In a wooden prison?

There was a woman taking a picture of me, taking a picture of her friend, taking a picture.

"Bulkuksa, in thoughtful repose."

"There's a little more to see."

Updated the Web Album too.

With No Time And No Space And No Schedule And No Place, And We Pass Right Through It Without A Trace

2006-10-26T20:29:00.000+09:00

Just touring the parks in Jamsil today. Clouds followed me all over Seoul today hampering my efforts to take a few pictures. But not effecting my ability to listen to music and walk around in the slightest. "Take that cloud!"
Something about the weather today that made it perpetually pre-dawn like light conditions. That and I may have had the white balance set wrong on my camera.
I thought people were just gathered around feeding the ducks until I saw the monstrous fish living beneath them. Some where almost large enough just to eat the ducks themselves, but in doing so they would ruin their business model. The way it is the fish get every other piece of bread, and children are drawn to ducks for some reason.
People go on the people path and bikes go on the bike path, "No cars driving or parking on the sidewalk today."The businessmen gathered to smoke looked at me like I was crazy here, I don't think the spider was visible from a distance. So I appeared to be hiding in the bushes taking pictures of them. "If you have nothing to hide, you shouldn't be worried!"
"Objects at peace tend to remain at peace until acted upon by an outside force." So I opted to leave the man be.
Just a walk in the park for all concerned today, however none seemed that concerned. Except the 300 school children that all correctly identified me as not Korean. "Which one doesn't belong? One of these things is not like the others, one of these things does not belong."

"If it made sense, it wouldn't be art." And if I made sense, I wouldn't be Dane. But I am wondering if someone is looking for the truck big enough to pull this down.
This exhibit was falling to disrepair. Appears to be Limbo for dolls that couldn't get into the Elysian Fields. "It's death for the dead." Trees! One of the reasons I headed out today was to find some fall foliage and some sun. I found one but not the other. "It's like Burt without Ernie, there's no frame of reference!"
Training for the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing. Or maybe he just likes to skate, not my problem. The vines are going red already, it's only a matter of time before we are knee deep in snow. I couldn't resist bumping her into the photo. She was posing for her friends sitting in front of her.
Enjoy it now before it freezes over, the strap on your skates, because I think I just thought of a fun and fast way to get to the Han River.

But Soon Comes Mister Night Creepin' Over, Now His Hand Is On Your Shoulder

2006-10-25T22:15:00.000+09:00

I really can't get enough of this place. It looks amazing at night, better than pictures show really. As someone said this evening, "It NEVER gets dark here." The light from the buildings an artificial moonlight in a starless sky.
People gather in droves even at night on a weekday and they usually come armed with cameras. I think almost every person in Seoul who owns a camera has taken a picture along this walk at one point or another.
At some point I will take pictures of all the people taking pictures, but the exposure times are a little high at night to capture people. Especially when they get shifty wondering why the big guy is taking pictures of them. "Mostly Harmless."
At the end I have seen some interesting things, such as: folk dances, public demonstrations, construction of public art installations, and this evening we have a tv show, movie, or commercial shoot.
The stand in got the lights set for the real actors, to important to be wasted on light metering. He looks ready for a firing squad, "Calm down man, it's going to be OK. We are going to get you a kitten or something.""Artificial Sun! How you mock the night!" A crowd began to gather a few minutes after we showed up. Actors sat in a mini-van across the street having their make-up done and sipping lattes, no doubt. All the world's a stage and some parts of it are more of a stage than others. We are assuming this guy is the "real actor" but he doesn't look familiar. This however isn't surprising considering I have only watched a a dozen Korean movies a few TV shows.
The chosen backdrop for this scene was the fountain at the beginning of the walk. "Brought to you by Samsung!" Well, not really... I think.

대한민국!

There's Some Good Times Around The Corner But Have You Fed The Fish Today?

2006-10-24T01:56:00.000+09:00

Art Project. Scenario: "Hey, Sean draw a bunch of us doing something , then we will take a picture and try to make it look like your drawing," Leah said. So he did. Here we have something between the Last Supper and a Birthday Party. The food was pizza and halloween themed cupcakes. Now if I could just figure out how all these crazy people broke into my house!

I'm Going Deaf and Peaceful, I'm Going For a Walk

2006-10-15T23:10:00.000+09:00

속리산에 가본적... 있습니다! ㅋ.ㅋ I had a day to kill, and this trip killed it, cleaned, cooked and served it for dinner. About 3 hours on a bus each way but definitely worth the trip if you like a good hike or a forest in autumn.

This is one of the main reasons I went, as strange as that may seem. I saw a picture of this once on the internet and was fascinated. Reminds me of some "redecorating" my brother and I used to do to rivers in Washington during fishing season. Taught THOSE fish a lesson about dam construction. "What are you going to do, viciously rearrange their environment?"This is my own, personal, Buddha. However the friendly monks at this monastery may disagree with me over that little point. I am told it is no the largest Buddha on the peninsula, but I was impressed.If giant golden Buddha failed to impress, giant rock Buddha will take you out back and crush you. Or perhaps just serve you a refreshing beverage from the concession stand he lives next to.
There are 48,846,823 (July 2006 est.) people in South Korea, and most of them decided to go for a hike the same day I did. I hiked for an hour and a half 7 kilometers up a mountain to wait in line for thirty minutes to get to the top. Good place to work on a really solid neck sun burn.
These folks are NOT expecting a helicopter to land on them while they are eating lunch on a giant H! They are probably right, but as one of the Koreans standing in line with me said (translated from Korean) "How did they bring everything they built up here to the top of the mountain?" 헬기조심!
The view from the top was worth the wait though, as was the refreshing cool breeze. 바람이 시원하지만 제바름이 아찍 않됩니다. 고향에 vs. 고양이
Another view of the autumn leaves from the other side of the summit. If there was a winding road down there I am sure SOMEONE would be making a car commercial right about now.
Perhaps fall foliage is more thing that the lens of a camera just can't properly convey, but if you look really close you will see Bigfoot in the background.
"Horses of courses." Saw this on my way out and had to take a picture. I don't recall having seen a horse in Korea up to this point. Oh well, back to the bus. 말밥 이지!

The World Can Be a Very Big Place So Be Yourself Don't Get Out of Place

2006-10-09T21:36:00.000+09:00

Ah, the dangers of long blog posts. Sometimes you are working on them and you lose everything. So, for the second time for me, and the first time for you let me present to you: "Trip to China!" The trip was on the short side, 4 days and 3 nights, but we still managed to see a lot, in and around Beijing. Sightseeing, food, shopping were the three main pillars of the trip. The pictures, of course, are mostly of the sightseeing variety. (Pic: Temple of Heaven at Sunset)We had a tour guide and driver for the entire trip, which is good because while most of us speak Korean that doesn't do you a lot of good in China. Except on the couple occasions where we met Korean tourists. :) Our tour guide has done this tour many times, which accounted for his vast knowledge of the sites we visited and his "let's move on" attitude to travel. "Here you will see an ancient and historically important site as valuable to the Chinese people as it is beautiful. You will never see anything else like it in your life again... Ok, let's keep moving." (Temple of Heaven)
But he was a really good guide, he rushed us through a couple places but usually just to make sure we made it where we needed to be on time or to make sure we had time for other, usually better, points on the tour later. Our first day we got off the plane, met our guide "Mike," saw the Temple of Heaven, went to a gymnast show, had a Peking Duck, and checked into our hotel. And a bit to the dismay of our tour guide we left the hotel that night looking for a supermarket. We needed "non-overpriced-hotel-mini-bar-water." So we asked the hotel Assistant Manager, or "AssMan" for short, where we could find a place to buy some snacks and water. We found it pretty easily and purchased what we came for at ridiculously low prices. Along the way we stopped to watch people dancing at a park to the tune of Chinese music played over a distorting speaker. Something about that sound that reminds me of southeast Asia in the 60's and 70's, not that I was there then. (Temple of Heaven stair case rail... Oh ya!)
The next day we got up early and enjoyed our complimentary breakfast before heading out to Tianamen Square. "Dimsum and bacon, a dangerous combination at any speed." One bad thing about the China trip was the smog. It was intolerable, but it was quite noticeable and messed up a lot of my pictures. "And that, my friend, is unforgivable." There seemed to be a lot of coal burning that contributed to it. There are a lot of cars, but no where near as many as in the U.S. or in Korea. (At the Square we see the Chinese Armed Police) "Mike, why are the Armed Police not "armed?" ... "That is a good question, it's just what they are called."

There also seemed to be an inordinate amount of Germans on this trip. I know they like to travel but they seemed to be everywhere. Or perhaps they were just more noticeable because they tended to stand out, typically being of the tall and light haired variety. (Here I stand in Tianamen Square. Yay, no tanks!)I don't think I ever asked what this was, but I remember the exact moment I took the picture. Because right after I did I tripped on Jeff's leg and fell into him almost heading to the ground, while a few passers-by gaped at the spectacle. "I never claimed to be graceful.""Big brother is watching you." Or at least his picture and loudspeaker/cctv camera combination.
I apologize for the goofy grin, but YOU try to hold a straight face while taking a picture of yourself with the Chairman while surrounded by Chinese people. "You and the Chairman make it happen." Well, onward into the Forbidden City!
This was just good timing. Even the Armed Police like to take a break from time to time and apparently on these breaks they like to play a little "round ball." "Oh, I see how it is. Prison Rules , eh?" I'm not a huge sports fan, but I don't recall the last time I saw basketball played on a grass court.
(Stephanie stands on the main path into the Forbidden City doing what appears to be some kind of interpretive dance.) Behind her we see the five bridges representing the five virtues of Confucian culture. Our guide gave us a long speech about each one, that I don't remember. But the POINT of the story is that typically a person will choose to cross the bridge of the thing they lack the most. And after hearing this I decided I didn't care but I wanted to go around and get pictures of the group from another bridge. "Hey, Jeff, which bridge did I cross?" "Umm, intelligence." "Ah crap!"
(Zach and Amy head deeper into the not-so Forbidden City) Far ahead of us is the most unfortunate group of tourists ever. To keep tabs on them, their tour guide has made them wear bright yellow "traditional" Chinese hats. And, Wow, they don't look right aging Europeans. "I'm so glad that's not us."

We picked a somewhat inopportune (see also: www.thesaurus.com) time to come to the Forbidden City for, as we were informed, it is under going renovation until 2020. "Should have just put this spur of the moment trip off by 14 years. China isn't going anywhere."
There was a lot of really great stone work throughout the Forbidden City and China in general. I wish there had been a little more direct sunlight and a little less smog to highlight this. FYI: The big metal pot on the right has trash in it and is not a trash can. People suck sometimes. :P"Everyone gets tired sometimes, but we expected better from YOU Alicia!" Benches were numerous along our journeys, that might have something to do with the copious amounts of aged tourists.

The picture doesn't really do this wall justice. The lighting combined with the smog gave everything a dreamscape look. But a dreamscape for the eye can be a nightmare for the camera. "Electronics don't get nostalgic, except those damn robots."

A picture says a thousand words?"This actually HAPPENED!" We are walking through the Forbidden City taking pictures and listening to our tour guide. He tells us "If any of you would like to use the washroom or get some coffee you can stop here at the Starbucks." To which we all reply: "Blhhh!?!?!" He tells us about the time the President of China went to the U.S. And before he went to Washington D.C. he stopped in Seattle to meet with the CEO's of Boeing, Microsoft, and Starbucks. Planes Computers and Coffee, "What more do you need?" But apparently a deal was made to put in a tiny Starbucks in the corner of a gift shop.

So we stop in and get some beverages, maybe a souvenir, and get yelled at not to take pictures. I don't see what the big deal about pictures was, there was no signage on the storefront AT ALL. You had to be told the Starbucks was there to even find it. Unless you were drawn in by sense of smell. The whole place consisted of one counter, one register, one sign, three employees, and a rack of mugs. But when you buy stuff you get a sweet Starbucks receipt that says "The Forbidden Store."I have far too many pictures of the tops of building, but they were really ornate and eye catching. I couldn't help myself. Like a cat, I love bright and shiny objects. "Ahhh! It's movin'! Gotta get it!"
Most of the pictures from indoors did not turn out well here because of the low lighting, but I did manage to snap one or two that I liked. This was from an exhibit of jewelry worn by female royalty. "It's good to be King?"

Stephanie takes a break from dancing long enough to sit on what we later found out were, according to the sign, "perilous hills." "No climbing!"

I'm a sucker for pictures of doors and windows. We were walking past this with the rest of the tour when Shelli and I stopped and said "Ooooooh, pretty."I felt the need for this, people don't look up enough. But I looked a little ridiculous on my hands and knees balancing my camera on a post to take this.

This was a moment of tranquility amidst the myriad of museums. The peace was promptly broken by the next tour group pushing us along the all-too-narrow passage way.

We were told the corners of the City were designed to look like grasshopper cages by order of the Emperor when he was a child. Apparently he owned some and liked the design enough to make everyone else like the design... "Or else!"

This is the next day at the "Silk Factory" where they showed us how silk was made. The only down side of the trip were the slightly uncomfortable government stores we were mandated to be run through. We were told it was to make sure we got "quality items" but it was a ridiculously high pressure sales environment. Not "Would you like anything today?" but "What color and how many are you going to purchase." Gave me flashbacks to my days as a salesman. They found me quite uncooperative, just a lot of blank stares. The people talked like robots, rehearsed lines in a foreign language. But at least it was informative. And to his credit our tour guide enjoyed this as much as we did and made every effort to move us through as quick as possible.Next was a trip to the "Summer Palace" which was built with misappropriated funds by a corrupt ruler in a time of war and later caused the defeat of the Chinese navy by the British. "Thank God, nothing like this ever happens today."Well on the upside they made a lot of really attractive bridges to look at while the navy burned.
And a sweet marble boat made to look like it was floating on the lake. As our guide said, "No one can sink a marble boat." I doubt his logic.

A long walk around the lake here as we are on our way to the boat which will take us to an island in the middle.
The "Long Walk" designed so the Queen could take walks on rainy days. Apparently some people are to good for umbrellas.

On the island we are all surprised to see more bridges. And a cow, with Chinese written all of the side of him. That's all I got, I just thought he looked "Bad-Ass."
After we were done here we headed back to the bus to be taken to the Peking Opera, which was really interesting, but somewhat difficult for western audiences. That's the most PC way I can say that almost every wanted it to end. As we got on the bus at the Peking Opera there was a flash of light and it began to rain. We had the Great Wall the next day, and I only brought a very small umbrella.

But luckily it only rained overnight and it did a LOT to clear out the smog that hung over our trip up to that point.

We found some Plaster Warriors with there hands ripped off, probably for souvenirs. See previous comment about people sucking.
This is from almost at the top of the peak, I can't stress enough how steep these stairs can be. There were points where I was climbing hand over hand to keep from falling backward. Scary when you are heading up, but somehow not so much when you are headed down again. I think you just get used to it.We had 2 hours to traipse along the wall as we pleased. I got a bit ahead of the group, not to be anti social, but merely to be childishly competitive and see how far I could get. After a while I started to wonder what time it was, so I posed my question to some Chinese kids that had stopped me earlier to say "Hello." We had asked our tour guide what the word for foreigner was in Chinese earlier and I heard them use it, so I started my inquiry by repeating it back to them. I know four words in Chinese and time is not one of them, nor is toilet. How unfortunate.

They give me the time and I take off to the top of the mountain. But later on my way back down I meet them again. One of the girls yells to her friend to tell her I am behind them, I assume, and as she turns to look up at me she almost falls backwards down the stairs but catches herself at the last second. Scared the crap out of me. Being tall has never killed anyone yet, and I would like to keep it that way. From now on I will just where a t-shirt with my face on it so no one has to look up. :)

The view from the top was really amazing, especially considering the smog had cleared out and you could see further than a kilometer. The part of the wall we were on was circular, you can see it head down to the river and back up again.
Also you can see the freeway we took to get here, heading back down south to Beijing. We are pretty sure this means that it is dangerous to speak on your cell phone during a thunderstorm do to the risk of being struck by lightning. But hey, this sign is FAR more entertaining if you let your mind get creative. The descent, you have to come down eventually I suppose. I was worried about missing my bus back to Beijing so I did my best impression of a mountain goat all the way down the other side. Alas, my best impression of a mountain goat just involved making a lot of weird noises and eating peoples maps while I slowly slid down the side of the steps clinging to the rail for dear life.
At the bottom it turned out I was a little early for the bus so I had some more time to run around and explore. I didn't read the sign for this because it was close to the souvenir vendors and they kept yelling at me to buy t-shirts for a dollar. Some of them getting quite agitated toward the end. "YOU COME BACK HERE! T-SHIRT ONE DOLLAR!" Not the best sales technique for me. But it was worth braving it for my desktop background.

These shops were all empty and I am not really sure what they are for. There was a Mercedes or two parked in front of them so I am assuming it is private rooms or restaurants for the upper crust. But they have sweet lanterns, just to bad it was dark and they weren't lit.

Again I know what they MEAN, what the implied meaning is so much more fun! Perhaps these signs would have stopped the Mongol Horde, perhaps not.
This evening was our "free day" but since no one had anything specific they wanted to do our tour guide suggested that after we went ot the great wall we could do a little shopping, then head to a martial arts performance. Everybody was good with this plan so we headed out.

"Red Theatre, well if you put it like THAT it sounds so communist." This show was spectacular and I do recommend it to anyone interested in martial arts. I had seen Nanta and Jump in Seoul, and this kind of reminded me of a mix between the two of them. It had all the physical feats of Jump, with the production value and showmanship of Nanta. On top of that the guy sitting ahead of me had to be told five separate times "no pictures" by the nice usher lady. I would have tossed him out, but it is a testament to how visually impressive the show was.After the show the cast rushed out to the lobby for pictures with the audience. We waded our way through the Aged Europeans to get some sweet pictures with the kids. These children did some impressive stunts during the show, you could tell they train very hard. "Your Kung-Fu is strong!"
This was an excellent way to end our trip and I am glad we braved a few taxi rides to do it.
The sign pretty much says it all, and if it DOESN'T the giant red star and ex-military bouncer can help you figure it out. I doubt a nuclear weapon would fit through the door, and don't drugs and Rock'n'Roll go hand in hand? Who am I to question?
Ah yes, the requisite giant guitar that must sit in front of any self-respecting Hard Rock Cafe. I might add that this restaurant is on the "wrong side of the tracks" and I don't think the bouncers are just for show.
The food is over priced, like any Hard Rock, but I always thought it would be more overpriced. My shake only cost 4 dollars, and I wanted a five dollar milkshake! But it was as tasty as a five dollar milkshake and I got it in a 9 dollar hurricane glass, so I suppose it's ok. "Hmm, that's a pretty sweet looking fork..."
A trip to China without a panda bear simply would NOT do, so here we are. The next day we would brave customs and fly back to Incheon amidst a rainstorm. But for the pictures we will leave it here. Somewhere in the middle of Beijing an old white guy is dancing poorly while a cowboy sits at the bar and watches quietly enjoying what I like to believe is a sasparilla. "We salute you out-of-place-cultural-icons, Godspeed!"

Daddy's Flown Across the Ocean Leaving Just a Memory

2006-10-08T21:26:00.000+09:00

I'm back, I had a blast, and I am tired. :) Updates will be coming soon, but sooner than that will be sleep. Here is my Seinfeld moment at the wall. "Why do they put stair on a wall if they don't want you to climb it? Why would they do that? I don't get it!"

It's Not Ours To Break, The Shape Of Things To Come

2006-10-03T21:09:00.000+09:00

This is more of a "Tech Update" post. Eventually I will get a proper website set up instead of the blog/picture pages/myspace/etc, but until then another picture page.

http://picasaweb.google.com/TheDefinitiveDane/DaneWanders

Mostly ones I have used before but all in one place without all those cumbersome words getting in the way. These are most of the ones I liked. I have taken too many pictures, I counted up the ones I liked and compared them to the total and it's less than 1 percent. I will try to do better in China. Only one more day left before I leave... I feel like I am forgetting something. I'm sure the friendly Chinese customs officials will let me know what it is.

Standing On A Building I Am A Lightning Rod

2006-09-30T18:32:00.000+09:00

Getting ready for the trip to China. It is amazing how much you have to do and buy so you can go do and buy stuff. Spending money to spend money, what else is it for? Had some time to get out this "weekend" at least for an awesome weekend in Seoul. Up with the boys, let us call them Paul and Dan, the first day then with Junghee for the next two. 정희 와함깨 여기저기 가다왔습니 ㅇ.ㅡ 재미! Did a lot of walking this weekend too. I actually didn't take any pictures the first two days I was out, the lighting was not conducive to photography. But the third day was sunshine and fluffy cloud goodness.
It seems I forget Korean place names almost as fast as I learn them, but my pizza delivery senses can get me back there any day of the week. I want to call it Bomorae Park for our non Hangul reading friends. It's on the lower left side of the two subway line in Seoul . I don't really go by "place names" but more like the things that get geese north in the winter, magnetic rods deep inside my skull.Later, on the walk to Yoido (오의도), I found the National Assembly hiding behind some grass.

This man looked quite relaxed, before I took his picture at least. He looked somewhat surprised when he looked back and saw me. I need to invest in a quieter camera so that I may take pictures without "disturbing the cool." But the spots under the bridges along the Han River on a sunny day are refreshingly cool. 시윈해!My hanja skills are a little rusty so deciphering this without help is difficult. And by rusty I mean non-existent and by difficult I mean impossible. But I am willing to assume it is the title of the work and the artists name. She looks a bit like a sunflower reaching for the light, or perhaps a poor girl with a sever glandular disorder. Either way I like it, abstract as art or abstract as reality. These clouds made me take their picture, I think they were tourists.

When I first saw this (in the Yoido park btw) I thought it was ivy over a fence tunnel with gourds tied to the roof of it. And I thought, "Hey that's pretty neat." Then I realized they were actually grown there and the "ivy" was the plants they grew on. Also to keep them from falling they have tied little weave baskets underneath them. Kind of makes me miss that garden I never had.

Statue of King Sejong, I should have got a closer picture of his head but I wanted to see the writing on the side and turned out not quite getting either side of what I wanted. But the girls in front of the statue are just about to freak out when they turn around and see me.
정말 이야기!This is the 63 Building, tallest structure in S. Korea, for now. So called because it has... 63 stories. Under the right conditions the building looks amazing, with the sun setting and the last rays of light reflecting gold off of it's tinted windows. As you can see... not quite that time of day. The elevators for the observation deck run on the outside of the building and give you a really cool view as you make it to the top in roughly 90 seconds.

On the top deck they had several displays to entertain the masses. One of these was the wishing wall. I was scouring the wall for one that spoke to me, and I had assumed it would be in English. But there was only one in English and it sounded heartfelt but directly translated. The one that got me was obviously written by a child, in Korean, placed on the lowest level of the wall. It reads "Please make me tall." My first thought is, "Careful what you wish for, I can't buy shoes here." The thought came to late to me but if I make it back and the note is still there I am going to put "Please make me shorter" on the highest rung above it. Just for the absurdity of it, I like being tall.The view across the river into Shinchon and Yongsan. The little white dots in the water are four-person boats shaped like swans and various other aquatic creatures. "Back ye beasties!"The observation deck: observed. "Oh how the tables have turned my friend!"

Sunset, the end of the evening, at least photographically. Some of the best things have to just be experienced: good food, Cold Stone ice cream on late summer night strolls through the city, and of course engaging conversation.

See you after China! - 중국여행후에 볼거이에요!

Every Second, Dripping Off My Fingertips

2006-09-16T17:34:00.000+09:00

I'm not dead, I've just been baking a lot lately. Korea in the summer gets hot, hot enough that you don't want to leave the confines of your air conditioned abode. So even when there are eventful happenings they are usually indoors, poor lighting, or unsuitable subject matter for photography. Before THAT gets taken the wrong way, how many people ACTUALLY want to see pictures of me baking a cheesecake? However the heat has retreated of late, giving us an opportunity to cause a scene and loiter around Seoul this weekend, and a fortunate timing gave Amanda and I a chance to meet up with Kijin, and Junghee for a bit of Korean speaking practice and awesome Chinese food. Later, through a planetary alignment and several animal sacrifices we met up with John and Hyun for a couple of beers and a catch up session.
Similar to a Daringer fight at an old west poker game, any self respecting get together with friends has the moment where everyone pulls out there cameras and/or camera phones and I am a big fan of taking pictures of people taking pictures. So here is Hyun, and what John would look like if his head was manufactured by Sony.

They were understandably tired after many visits with family, friends, relative, and business partners. So after they fell asleep at the table like this Amanda and I sneak out into the night and leave them at peace, with the bill. "They look like angels, drunk angels." JOKE! It was really good to see them again, hopefully, this event will be repeated in Tokyo a few months from now. So you wake up in Seoul late on a Saturday morning... Well, let's call it early afternoon to be fair. What do you do? You go to a musical. A musical based on ABBA music, that has been translated into Korean and performed by an all Korean cast. "THAT just happend!" For everyone rolling their eyes as if this is something that would be perpetrated upon you as a crime, I assure you this was entertaining. The cast, set, music, audio, lighting, etc. was very well done. But there are moments where you have to stop and ask your questions. Like when 20 men in wet suits and flippers take the stage doing a high step dance to a dream sequence with the star role singing 'I have three fathers...' "Were the tickets covered in blotter acid?"
The location for our little "Voyage to Trip Out City" was the Seoul Arts Center Opera Theater, which seems to always be playing musicals instead of operas. But I believe that is going to change this winter. The theater is amazing inside, it seats a few thousand people on four levels, has a huge chandelier, and usherettes that come and politely let you know not to take pictures in the theater. Whoops! Well I will consider that a fair trade for the fact that my seat would have been uncomfortable for a contortionist circus midget in a coma. My knees where extending past the seats in front of me, luckily we spotted some seats that were empty in the first row of the balcony and, after some cajoling I agreed to move. I looked ridiculous, no cheap seats next time.

"Cheer up little guy, why so glum?"

Because we are on a bus. And, while a bus IS a magical contraption that takes you to many glorious adventures, you are still 'on the bus.'
Magical Adventure EPISODE #1: ART STORE! "Ahhhhh! Everyone hold on! The Art store is a non-stop cavalcade of fun and excitement that will stir you from the norm!" With attractions like 'Korean-woman-who-looks-a-lot-like-John-Lennon' and the 'Wall of Korean Signs and Placards', where I find the sign that encourages the tall to be 'Head careful.' "Thanks for the tip Kid!" And for a cool 2 bones and some change (bone fragments?) that sign now sits on my door.
"Wait, Art Store? Ya, we are done now." Let's move on to the Dongdaemun market. (see subway picture from beginning of post for further details. Offer not valid in AK, HI, or parts of Utah.) People watching along the river walk. I think it's why I come back here so often. Move past the people and watch them watch you or take a rest and let the scenery come to you. Great for beautiful afternoon such as this. If you stand here long enough you will begin watching yourself watch people watching you watching them. Then conspiracy theories begin to turn in your head. "Man on the bridge with a video camera, two men with a camera behind the tree, they are watching me, what's the connection?!?! Who is the man in the red hat?"

Our friend the dragon fly has no worries such as these though. His life is simple, he exists to eat, and have airborne sexual relations, while viewing life through a kaleidoscope. In most respects, this makes him a member of any late 80's metal band. His current concerns: "The giant with the camera." Ghostly visages and tricks of light in the quiet halls of a Sunday afternoon fabric market. Without a camera this is called loitering, but with one it's an art project. "This is a science experiment!""Well, simply put, because we can." And digital photograph wastes no film. Similar to a thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters on an infinite timeline is one giant with a camera taking thousands of pictures on a rather limited timeline. But if Leah doesn't dust the market floor with her hair, who will?
It looks like she is midstep, but I assure you she hovered all the way across the river. Very creepy.What is loitering if you don't throw in trespassing. But again the existence of the camera allows us to transform negative words like trespassing into positive words like "exploring." "Kind of like the difference between conquering and discovery in the 1800's." But roof access affords us a much better view of our surrounding and puts the day's wanderings into perspective. You must know where you have come from to know where you are headed, or at least that's what we will tell our reluctant teenage security guard/bouncer when he comes to politely tell us to get off the roof. "Oh look, it's Capt. Buzzkill and the Bringdowns."

But before this happens a panoramic view of the city from Dongdaemun. Bask is the glory that is Namsan tower. "Next time I am taking the cable car, Luck Dragons tend to be somewhat unreliable."
Dongdaemun directly translates to East Big Door. And this is what such a creature looks like. Remains of the wall that once encircled central Seoul to control traffic flowing in, now finds itself drowning in the traffic that encircles it. Oh, how the tables have turned. "Take that, cultural landmark!"

"They look like ants from up here, well, maybe Border Collies."

"OMG! Not another picture of yourself!" Cari says. If I take them myself, I have fewer pictures looking up my nostrils, and it's kind of the Korean thing to do. Everywhere I go I see people taking pictures of themselves, even though there are people to do it for them. 서울에있을데 서울에있는한국사람들이 같에 해요? Or something along that line. "Let's go find some Italian food."

To Find Someone You Love, You Gotta Be Someone You Love

2006-08-17T19:24:00.000+09:00

We'll start with a few pictures of my walk around the fortress wall this weekend. "Hey, what's NOT a good idea when it's 95 degrees and 100% humidity?" That's right,kids! 2-3 hour long walks around fortress walls. "What are the symptoms of heat stroke again?" This is why I travel with a Camelbak during the summer. It's more than just backpack flavored water, sometimes it's the difference between life and death. Or at least between death and paying more than a dollar for 12 ounces of bottled water.
At this point I am more than halfway around the wall, drenched in sweat, and starting to have flashbacks to the 60's. Which wouldn't be that bizarre had I been alive then to have something to flashback TOO. "I don't remember this many flying squid during the Nixon administration."
As I have mentioned before Korea is mostly made out of what appear to be stairs, but in actuality are ancient stone Legos left by an advanced civilization of immense intelligence and cruelty. But if the stairs on the first part of this walk don't kill you nothing else is going to. Vision goes blurry as we reach the top of the stairs but everything comes back into focus as a little girl with her mother in tow greets us. "Hello!" She waves. "Welcome to Korea." It took me a second to recognize what she said as it was in English and I was expecting Korean. But she is doing some tourism board very proud.
Highlight of the weekend was a Lou and Kyunghui's wedding. I had never been to a Korean wedding before and it was a little different. This is a relative of the bride performing for the new couple. There were a few things I had not seen before. Wedding "attendants" we will call them, dressed like 1950's stewardesses wielding swords and conffeti charged trumpet guns. "That just happend..." But it was an impressive ceremony, with both families involved, many in traditional dress.

Everyone was dressed sharp, but Damon steals the show with his ode to "Big Pimpin'" Many Koreans thought he was a rap star. He had his photo taken with many of the ladies in attendance, and it didn't look like he minded the attention. "He is carrying a cup that has 'Dizzle' spelled out in rhinestones on the side of it. I think he's doing alright."

Yes, I'm wearing a suit. You got a problem with that? It fits pretty well actually. It's hard for someone my size to get clothes that fit right most of the time but there are about 20 tailors to choose from downtown. It is a buyers market. "I think I will be leaving this country with about 5 suits." This picture doesn't show the pants, but to be fair, I took this with my right hand. "Having long arms has it's advantages."
After the wedding we headed to Lou's house for a reception with his family(awesome food gracious hosts), then later we went to the bar for a younger crowd only reception. Tequila flowed like water and Damon shot some pool. This is where they met originally. "The circle of life!" All things come back to the beginning in time. But Kyunghui probably didn't have that sweet pimp hat when they met. Looks good on her.

I Had a Thought All to Myself as I Contemplated the Moonlight

2006-08-08T19:35:00.000+09:00

I always end up going to museums and you can't take pictures in museums. Or at least normally you can't so even if I could I wouldn't think to ask. So this weekend I met my friend Hanna who is back in Korea for a short time. She was kind enough to take the day to show me around some of her old haunts from when she was going to college at Korea 대학 (college). But we started at the 옹기방물관 (Museum of Traditional Korean Pottery) where her friend is working. We got an informative and entertaining personal tour. 정말 재미 있었어 고맙습니다!

After that we took a quick bus ride to Hanna's old school to find everything little changed. "The only constant in life is change." And the only constant in change is that eventually everyone on this planet will enjoy the aromatic blends of gourmet roasted coffee from Starbucks. "Starbucks: I'M TASTING COLORS! (r)" Prediction, the first thing built on the moon will be a Starbucks, right before all the yuppies are sent there like some modern day Australia. We wandered around a bit listening to the sound of students practicing Korean drums and searching for the coffee vending machines that mysteriously went missing. Coffee used to cost students 10 cents. I'm guessing its closer to $5 USD now. The architecture on campus is interesting in that the new buildings are made to look older than the old ones. Some buildings are from the schools founding in 1905 and others are as recent as 2000. "That gothic church with bars on the windows is a library?"

Hanna in front of Inchon Hall (named for the schools founder not the city) where a few years ago she graduated before heading state side. For some reason I was expecting armored Frenchmen to run out and mace me. But stranger still I was hoping for pepper spray instead of medieval weaponry. Less hospital time.

Dinner afterward was awesome and cheap like most Korean meals. And I got to try two Korean dishes I had never tried before. Which, we discovered after a 15 minute discussion on the bus, is an increasingly hard thing to do. I have eaten most of the things available here that I felt would neither violate my morale set nor my gastrointestinal fortitude. Point of the story, cold noodle and tofu soup is tasty goodness on a hot summer day, and Dixieland Jazz is weird anywhere. But especially so in Korea. "Oh dear god, what have I done?" Relax man everything is gonna be ok. Take some deep breaths and listen to the sound of my voice. There is going to be more short ribs done in a minute. Eat some chips.

Rooftop barbecues give one time to contemplate the meaning of life. Or maybe we are all starting to get a little woozy from the 90 plus degree heat and the 100% humidity.

Everyone separates to their designated clique and begins to mingle with people they already know and are comfortable with. We had a debate about this later. I don't think it was as bad as all that but path of least social resistance might have something to do with it. Are humans inherently lazy? "With man gone, will there be hope for gorilla?" The sun begins to set on our little town as the rat sized things they call mosquitoes here descend upon our little shindig. I will trade a few bug bites for hot corn and cold watermelon on a muggy Korean August night.
Night surrounds us as we walk down the hill towards home. Golf ball size spiders descend from telephone poles to eat dragon flies or maybe bats. The walk promises cartwheels, lost and found earrings, and sweet orange leather chair. The moon guides us home as a thundercloud rolls in teeming with lighting. Why do I always have to be the tallest?

I Walk Down the Lane With a Happy Refrain

2006-07-20T19:53:00.000+09:00

We had a typhoon last week and it hasn't stopped raining much since. Bridges and roads have been swept away. Homes crushed by landslides, lives lost. Rain is a nuisance in some places but , in this place, it is a natural disaster. These scenes play out on the television screens suspended above the city streets. Newscasters deliver the news like 'Big Brother' while, below, sandbags guide water into the drains at subway stations to keep them from becoming the worlds largest water park.
But life can't be all bad if you have art. In fact I believe the quote is, "Who needs clothes when you have art?" Public decency laws still standing, the greater portion of the population. At least while attending an exhibition . 160 pieces were on display, I wasn't a huge fan of his earlier work, but I loved Picasso's larger more detailed drawings.
Sometimes truth in advertising is cool, and sometimes it's scary. This sign is showing the myriad of possible uses (except the most popular) for this hotel's theme rooms. Drinking, the Pool Table Room, Movie Room, Bath Tub Room... Dude vomiting in toilet room? "Jelly Hotel, a good place to shake off memories of last night's mistakes and a wicked hangover."
Killing time before a showing of martial arts comedy stage play "Jump," Leah and I play hide and go seek. She didn't seem that into it at this point.
Jump was very similar to Nanta, which I saw earlier this year. Mostly non-verbal performance and when they did speak they used both English and Korean. It is a comedy played out as two burglars break into the house of a martial arts master and his well trained family. It was very impressive, though not as polished as Nanta. But the theater is smaller and the show seemed more friendly somehow.
"우리 우산 친구" Our Umbrella Friend works up a sweat keeping me dry. Still doing a damn fine job for something I picked up for 10,000 won in Namdaemun Market so long ago. It's the cheap ones that never die, you want them to, but they won't. Reliable, in that, as long as you want to replace it, it's got your back. Fear of unemployment is a great motivator.
We seek respite from our travels in the surreal wonderland of corporate art. I have had a certain fascination with it ever since seeing 'Fight Club.' I didn't see any way to trash a franchise coffee shop with styrofoam suspended from the ceiling by fishing line. Not to say that I didn't TRY to come up with a way. I dig little places like this though. Bottom floor of an office complex, we walk in and are greeted by a very nice lady in Korean. She quickly turns after greeting us as not to get into an English conversation. We are almost as afraid of Korean conversations we can't finish. The piano stands alone I am afraid. "I am become the cheese."
Juxtaposition of the old and new always brings a smile to my face. A reminder that progress need not be feared and that the past is never lost but merely built upon as though a foundation. I guess I am used to the west coast of the U.S. where the oldest thing in the city is usually the founders house.

Next day's journey, I continue alone. My Ipod and my umbrella accompany me on walkabout through downtown. First thing worth taking a picture of is the tree of good and evil. the "10 O'Clock People" were just rolling there smoke breaks into lunch breaks as I got here. A sight to behold, I must have been by the looks on their faces. I suppose given enough time you might work here and NOT think this thing is weird. But they were kind enough to duck out of the way of my picture. I tack to the wind and fall in behind the lunch crowd to see where it heads.

Eventually I end up along the man made canal river walk park thingy. That is it's technical definition, I just call it the River Walk because it reminds me of the one in San Antonio. It's calm cool, refreshing, and longer than I thought. I had planned to follow it to it's end point someday when I was out on my own. This seemed like a good day, but I would end where it connects to a river because of recent flooding the smell of sewage permeated the air, and possibly my shoes. And that ain't cool kids.
A sea of business men taking lunch time strolls filled the first part of the walk. Then the farther I got the human scenery changed as much as the rest. Couples out for a walk gave way to power walkers, which in turn gave way to the cyclists and joggers. The further I went the fewer people there were until the only people left were city employees with brooms and backhoes, cleaning the slud (sludge-muck-mud) from the path.
Long before this, I stumbled upon the tiles. There are a few thousand on each side of the river, this is just a random sampling. Reminds me of 'The Goonies' when they are in the wishing well. It's like finding other peoples wishes and dreams on the side of your road or children's letters to Santa Claus waiting placidly to be shredded at the post office. But these are displayed well and they were a high point of my day. Thousands of voices whisper ideas and speak of images, thousands of sets of hands make them solid, and somewhere in Seoul a little boy dreams of riding a dinosaur. (lower right) Rock on kid! From the end of the line I wandered back into the city center where I had started. There was a building I wanted to scale before I called it a day, Samsung Millennium Plaza. I have no good reason. "Because it's there." So I walked, guiding my path by the jagged teeth of the skyline. I have wanted to get to know the surface streets a little better. I am a Morlock and as such a slave to the subway map. I usually can only find something in reference to a subway station. And this makes me a little sad.
To be honest, there isn't a whole lot to see in this tower unless you want to blow a hundred bucks on dinner for one. Basement is another underground bookstore/food court and on the 33rd floor is a restaurant with an awesome view. It's triangular and suspended above the rest of the building giving it an "among the clouds" feel. I wonder if the food is good, does it have to be with a view like that?

끝!

Hurry, Get On, Now It's Coming, Listen To Those Rails A-Humming

2006-07-12T20:33:00.000+09:00

I find live music comforting somehow. Almost like "being home," even though that term refers to the States, and I live here in Korea. I think people always think of the place they lived longest as home. So Korea can't be home until I am about 50. But in a club, late at night, listening to 'Take The A Train" you forget you are so far away from what you knew to be home, and you come to enjoy your new home a little more.

I think it's like talking to someone new for the first time, after a while you find out you have the same favorite band. We sit in the back (or even better front) of dimly lit second floor bars listening to under valued music while sipping over priced beers. I enjoy this a lot, makes me regret not taking advantage of Seattle's music scene. The quality of the music varies but there is typically the one band member the band seems to be formed around because of their talent. This evening we got a great vocalist and an amazing bassist at the same place. So great I didn't take any pictures at THAT bar. "He played a ten minute solo with his eyes shut." Seeming to feel each note coaxed from his instrument.

We retired to the hotel after a few more sets with a couple of beers and Korean novelty crackers to serve as dinner. Discussions roll into early hours of the morning. Talk among friends is one of the over-looked basic necessities of life. Sharing of ideas, stories, beliefs, and the mocking of those ideologically opposed to you. What could be better? Just as the conversation drifts into the surreal and absurdly funny, the rumble of a Korean moped gang is heard below. If I could have gotten a picture I would have. But imagine 200 young Koreans on 150 mopeds and motorcycles equipped with neon and musical horns. They circle the block twice... "You'd never guess from looking that gas is over $4 a gallon here."The next morning I'm off to meet a friend in Incheon. We head to China Town in search of Peking Duck and incense, much like travelers of old. Before any great journey, or even before listening to 70's superband Journey, you must seek wisdom from one who dwells at the top of a mountain. A hill in a park will have to do. "We are on a tight budget." At the top is a cat looking for attention. He dusty little guy with a plaintive voice. He approaches and rubs my back and meows, a little old lady comes and calls him 나비(Butterfly), a common name for cats in Korea I am told. As we leave in search of goods from the 'not-as-far-east-as-we-are-right-now' he tries to follow. Until an old man on a bench calls him. Then, like any self respecting-cat, he forgets us and goes to a new source of attention. "Hmm, guess I am replaceable." Wisdom.As we move from shop to shop I spotted Floor Art (I like to call it Flart! [tm]) and prerequisite 'Korean-man-in-business-suit.' But to add to the suspense, there is a chance this guy is Chinese. "Exotic!" We never do find Peking Duck as the restaurant is , "Too busy to make it." "BOO!" But we do find really cool tea made of a whole flower blossom. It blooms when you steep it. "If I had a dollar for every time I heard that. I could buy one serving of this tea." Get in the cab...The waterfront in Incheon, specifically Wolmido. "It's like Korea's answer to Coney Island." Not that I have ever BEEN there, but I imagine it has carnival rides, shops, questionable food stands, and the smell of broken dreams. "Carny Folk!" Home of the hot dog, that is battered, wrapped in French fries, then deep fried, and dipped in ketchup. "I've never killed a man, but I imagine that this could."We took an hour and a half long boat trip around the island. A boat trip that bordered on the surreal at times. It started out normal enough though. We headed to the top deck and grabbed some chairs to watch the pier fade behind us.Then things got all Hitchcock . "Please stop feeding the sea gulls snacks!" Sea gulls go from being a peaceful reminder of maritime life to a pellet gun fight in a White-Out factory in about 15 bags of octopus flavored soy chips. "If you feed them they just come back to crap on you, that's not gratitude!" The birds create a scene, the people see this, want to become part of the scene, feed them, more birds come. "It's the circle of life!" And I want off. So we head downstairs.And head right back up after going to the Twilight Zone. So downstairs there is loud music and bright lights. Russians are here, dancing, dressed like the Dread Pirate Roberts and his female playing card themed counterparts. I don't want to say they were bad, but it was obvious that the main attraction was the fact that they were Russian. It seemed creepy to both of us. "She referred to them as being of Russian manufacture," 'She' being the following act. A woman who wanted to get everybody up to disco! "No, No, No... Duffman, can't breath." Well, there are two floors down here. "They can't both have disco." You know it, they do. So up to the restaurant for coffee? Second floor disco, is on TV. Well it's not to loud, and the coffee is OK with cream and sugar.
The first two rides I have ridden in a long time. I had forgotten what it was like. The first one is the Viking. Pretty straight forward, it goes back and forth and makes you feel like your stomach is always trying to catch up. The next ride is a little weird and must be banned in the U.S. Everyone sits on the outer edge of a bowl shaped thing and a DJ taunts you while he tries to make you fall into the center with hydraulics. "Everyone stare at the foreigner!" Whoops. Foreigner speaks Korean and is unshakeable. I didn't ride the carousel but find myself wishing I had. Is that strange? Old childhood memories of the Washington State Fair. Later we were treated to dinner by an awesome guy/hairdresser from Incheon. Seriously I can't stress how much I appreciated this meal as an event, challenge, experience, and all around great meal. When is the last meal you had to ask someone in Korean "How do I eat this?" About 20 different animals came to the table, all told, in various states of being cooked. It was like eating the Monterey Bay Aqaurium, and it was delicious. Some of the things I never had tried before included, a giant muscle, sea cucumber, live octopus tentacles, and sea snails... Oh yes, I said LIVE octopus tentacles. I had read about this before and wanted to try it. It came out as part of the meal and I was thrilled. They ARE hard to eat with metal chopsticks, but I managed. But they taste better than I had expected, and I actually found myself enjoying it. Beware, they do move, and will suction on to your mouth.

The next day we head to the Seoul Arts Center exhibit of French and American impressionists. I enjoyed all of it, but seeing the Monet pieces was the high point, for sure. For some reason they didn't want anybody taking pictures... Go figure. But you can look the pictures up on Google Images as well as I can. What you can't see is the paint on canvas, slightly raised peeks, as the artists hand left them 100 years ago. Some things must be experienced first hand. You can get lost in those valleys for a time. It's very therapeutic.

Ma il Mio Mistero e Chiuso in Me, Il Nome Mio Nessun Sapra!

2006-07-01T01:44:00.000+09:00

Opera in Korea. I wasn't sure what it would be like. I suppose opera anywhere in Italian except Italy is about the same as far as the "They-ain't-speakin-Merican" factor goes. Turandot in Korea was rather interesting because it is an Italian opera, set in China portrayed by Koreans. This actually made it better somehow. Is that wrong? Overall it was really good, but the titular role was filled according to volume perhaps rather than feeling. She was loud, and I am sure she hit all the right notes, but she seemed overly animated when the overall mood was solemn. The show was actually stolen by the male lead's women servant, and the three ministers of state, Ping, Pang, and Pong. "No I didn't make that up. Blame Giacomo!" They were awesome, and the audience let them know it at the end of the show. Way too much smoke from the smoke machine. "I am reminded of making movies in Mike's garage back home." People in the AUDIENCE were coughing, I can only imagine what the poor actors felt like. "Somebody hot boxed the theater with some bad shit man." Unfortunately no pictures, for two very important reasons. 1# No photography allowed in the theater. 2# I'm not carrying my camera around all night in a suit to NOT get pictures in the theater. But if opera experience could be summed up in pictures no one would go. It's more of an event. I got to wear a tie willingly for the first time in years and it was a good excuse to wear the new suit. Wearing a suit in Korea is advised, especially if you look like you just left a conference room. "We almost lost the Johnson account to Hyundai... MORE POWERPOINT PRESENTATIONS!." Everyone treats you a little different. Your suddenly not just the annoying American but the annoying American who might work here. And, yes guy on subway who called me a foreign bastard, I speak your language. "You seem surprised." The guy at the sushi restaurant seemed surprised and relieved I spoke Korean. But I still didn't understand it well enough to order. He just kept bringing us sushi, and we kept eating until we were satisfied. In the end $34 bucks in damage. Not bad for being full of raw fish before the opera. It seems like every time I am lost and looking for food I find a cool place. Seoul is good for that, I guess. And people watching, like the woman giving her husband an hour long lecture during dinner over the dangers of consuming too much alcohol, and the semi-creepy American congratulating a Korean women repeatedly because "It's all because of you. You did an amazing job." But in low, confident, reassuring tone of a sleazy condo salesman. "You are actually losing money by NOT buying it. Wouldn't you agree?" No, not really. On a side note, as if everything I post is NOT a side note, Seoul subway stops running at midnight on weekdays, and you will have to stand in line and wait for a cab with ALL the people that were on the train. So run fast and play dirty. However I can't complain about transportation to much, we did get to ride the same bus all the way there. That was a surprise.

Sun in the Sky, While I Moon Around, Feeling, Hazy

2006-06-24T17:22:00.000+09:00

Let us set the stage. It is summer in Korea, hot and muggy. When you try to sleep at night you sweat, toss, and turn. The sound of parties outside keep you awake in your heat driven delirium. Stare at the ceiling and try not to think of anything. You might get bored. No luck, your mind won't stop thinking about everything, so how 'bout a book? You get into it and stay up later. Korean drama on the TV may be your solution. But you know just enough Korean to make watching it understandable and difficult. You strain to hear each syllable and keep yourself up longer. Exhausted, you pass out, faint memories of the Korean national anthem on the TV. Get ready for work in the disorienting fog of being pulled from R.E.M. sleep. Outside the haze is so thick you can stare at the sun without discomfort in the morning calm. You trudge up the stair filled path to work, with breakfast in hand, ready to face another day. It is 6:00AM and almost 80 degrees, by the time you reach your air conditioned ant farm you are sweating. Work efficiency becomes directly proportional to the amount caffeine laced liquid you can imbibe without giving yourself an ulcer, or neurotic break down. Another day is done, head to the gym, grab a shower and lay down for a second. The bed is so comfortable... You've fallen asleep in the mid afternoon for a 4 hour, sweat drenched nap. You awaken feeling a little sick, dehydrated. Get some dinner and drink water. Drink it like you are in the middle of the Sahara, at a magic water fountain. And reflect on how your little siesta will cause a repeat of last night. You are going to need some tea tomorrow...

But eventually your AC will be fixed, and although the first gasp of a chilly breeze from this long still vent will smell like elderly male yak urine, you will not care. But soon the smell will get worse and you will care. Open your window. Destroy the environment for a few days by cooling the whole outdoors. The outdoors could use a bit of cooling these days, and it is definitely more tolerant to yak urine than you are. But soon the room is cool and your sleep will be deep again, the way it can only be when huddled beneath a heap of blankets. You will wake up to the sound of thunder, and drift in and out of sleep reveling in the spatter of raindrops the size of marbles. The smell will overtake you, cut grass in the summer, rain storm, tea, wet pavement. Refreshed as the world around you get up and feast upon the weekend before you.
This weekend is Friends and Musicals. Musicals? "Sue me, I like a good show." Friends? "Water, Food, Shelter, Quality Human Companionship." People always forget that last one. We met Kijin and her friend for dinner and a show. The dinner was sushi on conveyer belts. "I like my raw fish to move, but not under it's own power." Miso soup before and a curious mix of sugar, water, and cinnamon after. "Mighty fine!" We stroll for a bit, before the show. A giant man, being dragged to some of the smallest shops Korean has to offer, by three ladies looking for shoes. "I don't fit in this store." The musical, as far as I can tell, was originally in Russian and/or set in Russia. It is the story of a small town and the loves, lives, and losses of those inside of it, as pertains to scenes played out inside of a bar. The bar being the only stage in the play. The singing was excellent, so were the actors. It was such a small theater that you could really get a feel for the actors portrayals through subtle facial expressions. We were sitting in the third row, and I think I caught some of our thespians being distracted by the giant white guy in the audience. "I come in peace, I mean you know harm."Speaking of aliens, it's Isaac! Here is how we last saw him before parting, deep beneath the city streets. He looked like this all night, we think it's the medication. Good to see him again, I honestly thought I would never see him in Korea. We had dinner at a great Italian restaurant in Kangnam. Our meal was so "festive" that we had to ask for another paper cover for our table by the time it was desert. Catching up on old times is a messy operation, and so is sharing Italian food. We had a great plan for a ninja style raid on a jazz club, but we all agreed that work and studies take priority over music. "What were we THINKING!?!?" Well, we have time, we will get back there. We scurried back to our respective hovels to await the coming of another weekend.

War! Huh! Good God Y'all, What Is It Good For?

2006-05-30T22:54:00.000+09:00

Something about kids and tanks that brings out my inner hippy. So my first thought is, "These kids don't even know what these machines are for." And then I remember myself at this age and realize, "They have video games and television. There isn't much they haven't seen yet." Everyday is school tour day at the Korean War Memorial Museum, I guess. They come in packs, each color coded to their individual school with teacher in matching outfit. They even had matching backpacks, which they deposited under a tree outside the museum. Here their packs remained under the watchful eye of the chain smoking teacher while the children toured. We wandered among the military equipment spread out before us like a Soviet garage sale. "In Soviet Russia, garage sells YOU!" Here we find the surplus short range missile section. And, just to beat Josh to the punch, we have a picture entitled: 'Good morning sir! No sir, good morning to YOU.' Later, standing beneath a B-52 that is bolted to the ground the question arises, "What do you think it would take to get these things airborne again." I quickly decided, "Explosives, lots of explosives."

"And you've got this one hand... kind of... REACHING... towards the future." Without a frame of reference you can't tell how large these guys are, but the guns are about 2 meters long, and so am I. Most of the outside seemed to stress the civil war aspect of the Korean War. The equipment on both sides in the conflict was equally displayed, and a few statues symbolized the separation of a people by ideology alone. From a foreigner's point of view the Korean War was a proxy between communist and capitalist forces. But in Korea it's what I can only imagine the U.S. would be like if the civil war never ended and Jefferson Davis had been an autocratic Stalinist dictator. "Oh please! Mr. Turtledove, no more alternate future novels!"

And so for a bit of mental mouth wash we move on, and back... again, to Kyungbok Palace (경복궁). "Deep breaths, in through the nose out through the mouth." I have been elected tour guide for this particular cultural site it would seem. This is my fourth time here, which probably puts me ahead of the vast majority of Koreans. But I really didn't mind because I hadn't been here in the spring/summer season yet. "It looks less like a graveyard and more like a palace when the flowers are in bloom." May/June really seems like the best time to visit Korea but I am told fall is pretty spectacular too. As our Korean teacher used to tell us, "In Korea there are four distinct seasons."

"사람이 탠크를 만들수있지만 꽃을 만들수있습니까?"

Oh, When Your Heart's On Fire, You Must Realize, Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

2006-05-17T23:38:00.000+09:00

BBQ and good conversation under the stars, Korean style. This wasn't really supposed to be the main attraction of the trip, but it became it through a series of events. They were putting together a new set of promotional materials for the place we were staying so a LOT of pictures were taken while we were here, and most of them not by me for a change. A fun group of people to share a meal with. There is something very satisfying about pulling your food right off of the grill and eating it, sitting by the fire. On this clear night the topic of discussion was the origin of man, the evils of man made sweeteners, and the quality of hand picked mountain ruffage. I was testing my cameras night settings when my Korean shutterbug counter-part asked to see my camera. Seeing that my camera was properly equipped, he let me use his tripod to snap a few pics. His high end digital SLR with telephoto lens made my camera look pathetic. "But it's got character!"

This on the other hand WAS the main attraction. Soraksan national Park and of course Sorak Mountain. Pictures really don't do this place justice, not to mention that there is something about the air here. Maybe I just need to get out in the country more, but the air here smells of the flowers, the trees, and a hint of the ocean that lies nearby. We get to one mountain by passing through the base of another by means of the longest tunnel I have ever been driven through. As soon as we got out of the car the cameras come out. And I just can't resist pictures of people taking pictures. "It's only fair!" It was here that we had our first real discussions with our friends from Columbia. I thought that the language barrier would be tough in a Spanish/English/Korean environment. But Juan Carlos spoke excellent English and better German than I could muster. "Wo ist die toilleten mein Herr?"We have here, in order or friends and fellow Funventurteers from Columbia, Juan Carlos, Milton, and Jason. Or as Juan liked to call him, "He is 'HWA SAN'! It is Chinese!" Which is funny because in Sino-Korean it means Volcano. I really didn't even think of that till now. Milton and Jason didn't talk much but Juan seemed to be very personable and adventurous. I guess you would have to be if your reason for going to Korea was "I've never been here, why not?" He found us this fish for dinner in the river, but I have a rule against eating seafood that has died of natural causes. He also told us his heroic epic of getting bitten by a dog while taking a picture of a man made waterfall. "Is the dog OK?" Well, I thought it was funny, luckily so did he. "That's bad luck dude."

With All the Clarity of a Dream, A Sky So Blue, A Grass So Green.

2006-05-13T22:22:00.000+09:00

High on the list of things I love about Seoul, and perhaps Korea in general, is it's public spaces. You don't always feel the need to get away from the city because many of the parks in the middle of this metropolis are large enough to get lost in. That would be the case if they didn't have signs every 5 feet to show you where you are and where you would like to go. So I assume that once the 1988 Olympics in Seoul were over it took them about three and a half minutes to decide to turn this large chunk of land into a permanent park. "Why is all the public art work here sport themed?" Then to finish off the place, "let's throw a museum in the middle of the park, too." I liked the museum a lot. The museum being the Seoul Olympic Museum of Art or S.O.M.A. for short. It is currently featuring a large collection of drawings and paintings from a German artist I didn't recognize the name of. I liked the paintings but they didn't move me to the level of remembering the guy's name. In fact the thing I remember the best out of the whole exhibit is a picture of him in a German military uniform circa 1917. "Kaisertastic!"

The weather was extraordinary for our trip to the park. It was that 'warm' that is almost uncomfortable if not for the constant breeze and sun that would have been too intense if not for the shade of spotty clouds. "I'm not gonna lie, it was nice," nice like Sitting-in-a-hammock-with-lemonade-weather. There was about a billion people in the park, give our take a few, but it's so big I almost don't notice. EXCEPT when I first came in the park, there was a skating area for roller-bladers and skateboarders. And a new hybrid between the two that I saw for the first time here. The scene looked like a snap shot from a particle accelerator. Just replace sub-atomic particles with Korean children on wheels holding ice cream. We also saw what I dubbed the "Crazy Train." I call it this for two important reasons, one of which is obvious the other more subtle. The obvious reason being it's a brightly colored impossible contraption that looks ridiculous. The subtle reason being you PAY to ride this thing around a park that's PERFECT for walking on a beautiful day. I'm just going to tell myself they all have valid reasons. "What ever gets you to sleep at night, pal!"

This guy gets special mention in a piece I like to call, "The Loneliest White Guy In Seoul." Though he really wasn't, I saw his friends playing ball in the grass later. I would identify the game by it's common name, but it was one of those social event competitions that just turned into "keep the ball away from the guy who wants it the most." This guy however was great for several reasons. I believe he was originally not properly dressed for the weather because he had that "peeling off layers" look to him. When we find him in the park he is, I am guessing, trying to take a picture of himself in the park by balancing his camera on what appears to be ruby sneakers. "There's no place like home, Bjorn" He was sitting with his luggage next to him as we passed, which brings into my mind some past event probably involving the '88 Olympics that would cause him to get off the plane and tell the taxi driver to take him directly Olympic Park before going to the hotel. "I can be complete again, just to sit there, where it all happened. To breath the same air again as I did that day, and let the sun warm my soul!" ...Or he was just lost. Either way, he looked at peace for this moment. Talking to him would have ruined the mystery. He would just turn out to be a Russian exchange student from Vladivostok, or a Danish cartoonist on the run from anthropomorphised extremism. "Sarcastic Danes must stick together. You are safe with us my brother."

"I need a hammock like a junkie needs junk!"

And That's Not All, Woah! There Will Be Snacks, There Will Be, There Will Be Snacks.

2006-05-06T00:24:00.000+09:00

"Take one! Action!" "Ya, so this is kind of random." Walking through the streets of Seoul after leaving the tower we come across a commercial being made. Nothing special really but a lot of people stopped to watch. We gawked for a moment then walked right behind the girl they were filming. "I hope I was in the shot." Well, it must be time for church. Not just any church mind you! But the oldest Catholic Church in Korea. We went in to see the stained glass and I didn't spontaneously combust. "God, it's so quite! It's like a library in here! What?!" Across the street from the church is a tea house I highly recommend. Here is the concept: You pay 5,000 won (aprrox. $5) and they give you a cup and let you drink as much tea as you would like for 3 hours. While drinking this tea you may feel free to engage people in conversation, listen to music, read a book, or anything else you might like to do to relax that is legal and socially acceptable in public. "How could this get any better." Two words: FREE SNACKS. Said snacks can be procured from the bar where you get your free tea refills from OR they will be brought to your table. "Maybe there is a god after all."

We met up with some more friends a bit after that and went to a jazz club. "So this is going to be a Korean jazz band?" Oh yes, and they were awesome. Despite some technical difficulties that seemed to plague the show, they did a great job. The music wasn't strictly speaking "jazz." It varied a bit from rock, to funk, and even a little pop. But you will get no complaints from me. I hadn't seen a live band in a while and it was a nice change of pace. Even the problems seemed to make it that much more real and increased my enjoyment of the event. "I'm weird that way, sue me." We had a few beers, there where reports of a giant white man dancing in a basement dance club down the road. "Wow, glad we don't know THAT guy." We had a few more beers and retired to a hostel. Which I might add is a pretty interesting way to travel. The operator came out to meet us personally and told us it would cost a whopping 13 bucks each to stay there. "There were DRINKS more expensive than that at the last bar we went to." When we returned he bought us beer and stayed up until 5AM talking with us. Then, when we told him we were planning to see kitchen-utensil-based-super-show: Nanta the next day, he got us discounts. "I'm staying here again."

We went to the museum before going to see Nanta, and it was a little on the strange side. I really liked the photography exhibit from the latter half of the 20th century. The first exhibit we saw was interesting but it's extreme use of random English words combined with suttle threats against "US" made it quite unnerving. "Do they mean US or any group that refers to themselves as US?" I don't know, but if you are a plural pronoun be advised: next it could be THEM! On the upside they got a lot of love for ya'all. Absolute strangest was what I like to call the "Wall of Media." This involved several hundred TV's arrange to show things spanned over all of them. But two of the smallest of these TV's toward the center of the wall were just showing a naked women writhing, for lack of a better description, on a couch. "WTF Mate?" I ventured a guess that it was a commentary on western media and the degradation of women by making them sex objects. "But it's also possible that someone put the wrong tape in, I have been wrong before!" Nanta was great, Stomp meets kitchen. I highly recommend it. We needed to wind down after the show so we headed to Insadong for some over priced tea. But it was so good. Seriously probably the best cup of ginseng tea I have ever had in my life. It was six bucks, but I am willing to say I will remember that cup of tea longer than I would two domestic beers. I got stopped in Insadong by some college students that wanted to interview me for there English language homework. I may have cheated a bit with some Korean answers and not all of my answers were 100% correct. But the it was enough to get the job done. "I'm on vacation. That's how I roll!"

"I help them with their homework, and they get a picture taken with the ladies. How does this work again?"

But Everything Looks Perfect From Far Away, "Come Down Now", But We'll Stay...

2006-05-02T19:41:00.000+09:00

I think the joke used to go something like this. "How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" Answered with "Practice, my boy, practice." So if anyone ever asks you how to get to Seoul Tower on top of Namsan you tell them, "Stairs, so many stairs..." The irony is that there is a cable car that goes to the top, but we didn't walk far enough down the street to catch it. None of us had ever been here before so we didn't know where to go to catch it. But as we got about halfway up the hill, "Hey it's the cable car. It looks so fast, and so not full of stairs." There was a park passed the first set of stairs which left us thinking it was going to be a pretty short walk. There was some crazy things here to include: The picture of the little girl chasing the pigeon, A Giant and ladies on a see-saw, and "Are those COPS?!?!" playing a game I had never seen before which appears to be a cross between soccer and tennis.

Just before getting to the top of Namsam we stopped into the cafe there for some ice cream and soju. Not a bad combination but, "It's 2:30PM!" Meh! Whatever, your only alive once. After our little break here we went all the way to the top and stood beneath the tower, which is about the only point of interest at the top. "So lets go up to the observation deck!" -- "Guys?!?! This is the reason we came up here right?" For myself and one other intrepid soul, yes, but the rest of the group decided it was time to head back for the evening. I was planning on staying in Seoul this night anyway. So, this is where we part ways. "To the top!"

The observation deck was interesting. On ever window was the name of the major city that lay in that direction and the distance to the tower. It kind of freaked me out for a second when I looked out the window at a city from on high and saw that it was labeled Seattle. "Am I in the Space Needle?" That is a negative. It really is an amazing view from up there. You don't realize how big Seoul is until you are in a tower and still can't see all of it. It sprawls beneath you in every direction spanning the space between the small mountains that are in the middle of the city. It's like nowhere I have been before, so there is no point in comparing it to something else. So we leave the story here, for a moment, at the top of the world.

"Just over the horizon. Do you see it? It's part 2!"

Speed Leaving Without Warning, I Need Some Place to Sleep Tonight

2006-04-30T23:58:00.000+09:00

"Caution: Children at Play!"

I Eat with Gusto, Damn! You Bet.

2006-04-23T18:07:00.000+09:00

Ok, so someone was supposed to warn me about things like this. Jackie's Kitchen, "could that possibly be a Jackie Chan theme restaurant?" Do panda's like bamboo? "This restaurant was brought to you by The Corporation for Public Broadcasting, viewers like you, and Korea: 'Making the impossible, possible for over 5000 years.'" Things like this aren't suppose to happen. They inherently unbalance the universe and destabilize the very fabric of the time-space continuum. This combined with, say "Chuck Norris's Cafe and Bistro" could very possibly bring about one of many end world scenarios or a combination to hideous to imagine. "I'm picturing a seven headed dragon rising from the east being ridden bareback by Xenu", the space scourge popularized by the power ballads of lovable crackpot L. Ron Hubbard. Having said all this I must say, the food here is surprisingly good. When I think fine cuisine, I usually don't associate it with action movie stars. And out side of Mr. Chan's face, likeness, and name , the only ties this restaurant had to him was a decorating scheme based on shattered safety glass. On a "broken bone" scale I give it three cracked ribs, a broken tibia, and a shattered clavicle. That translates into a savage beating of supreme flavor that your taste buds will not soon forget. Preferred method of exit after the meal is the door. But if you want something more authentic you should probably dive out the plate glass windows and tumble 6 stories onto the top of a moving train.

Stop, It's Too Late, I'm Feeling Frustrated, I See No Sign Of Fortress...

2006-04-22T20:46:00.000+09:00

So Jason had a surgery on his back. Nothing too serious, he seems to be healing well. But the day after his surgery he wanted to go to Suwon (수원) to see the Hwaseong (화성) Fortress wall and he said, "It should be fine if there aren't a lot of stairs." Luckily he brought his pain relievers. We find out later that only the western wall is this steep and full of stairs. We would have shot for the eastern side but we had never been here before and didn't know exactly where we were going. When we got in the taxi and said, "Take us to Hwaseong." The cab driver just stared at us and answered with "어디 가요?" Or "Where are you going?" Which gave Jason and I a moment to reflect on the fact that the meter was running and we couldn't explain where we were going. But we started spouting out as much as we could remember about the area and eventually got it sorted out. "Why would I know the Korean word for 'fortress wall?'" The driver left us in front of Paldalmun (팔달문), which is very similar to Namdaemun (남대문), just not quite as big. Paldalmun is a free standing fortress gate which is located in the middle of a European style roundabout . There was indeed a lo of steps and a lot of red flags, which covered the western side of the wall. Each section was color coded.When we got to the top we could see most of Suwon. The horizon was mostly apartment complexes and businesses on the outside of the wall, but the inside seemed to be the nicer part of town. It was mostly smaller houses, churches, parks, and tourist spots. At the top we were also reminded of the 30+ mph wind. "I should have brought a kite." Or a badminton set, since there was a court at the top next to the monuments. There wasn't a net set up, not that a game would be possible on such a gray windy day. Here we see the symbol of Korean independence and way of life, the cell phone tower. And in front of it some more 'official' symbols of independence.

The command post sits at the highest point of the wall. We got here right after being told by the nice random man in the booth that we needed, "TICKETS!" This is a good scam I need to get in on. His booth looked pretty official but it was halfway along our journey. What if we don't go this far? What if we toured the wall in two separate trips that met at this point but never actually crossed this. "It's only a dollar." But I was thinking about trying this in the subway, millions of people go through there everyday.

"What's going on in there? I have a right to know!"

I Walked Around For Hours, Two Ten Pence Pieces in My Hand

2006-04-18T23:48:00.000+09:00

"Spring is in the trees! Spring is in the air! Spring is... IN MY EYE! AH, GET IT OUT!" Well, not quite like that. But the trees that surround the National Assembly complex look amazing right now. "Can I sit in the tree?" Hmmm well, "It's probably illegal or bad or something." Walk a block and cross a road to see a Korean girl sitting in the tree getting her picture take. "Maybe not?" I wasn't sitting in the tree but it was pretty close when I took this picture.
When the wind finally cooperated with me that is. The winds have been gusting up in the 35 knot range for most of the weekend. Which has made the weather a little unpredictable but at least it keeps things interesting. We walked along the with the trees for a little over a half an hour when we realized that it was probably going to be easy to head directly into town and find a different subway station than the one we started at. So we looked for the largest buildings on the horizon. On the way we found KBS Broadcasting Headquarters and these fellows waiting out front."Perhaps waiting for a stone taxi?" Who can say. Some questions are not meant to be answered by mere mortals. Just as we walked in front of the building a school group a school group came out and once again I became a tourist attraction. So across the street we went, to the sanctity of the park and it's public restrooms I so desperately needed. I had worked until 6AM the evening prior, got up at 9AM and drank an entire pot of coffee to keep me going. It worked but you have to deal with the consequences through careful planning of your route to coincide with appropriate facilities. "화장실 어디 있어요?!?!?"

Inside the park was a large flat rollerblading area with a huge Korean flag in the middle of it. So once again just to prove to everyone back home I am in Korea... A picture. I always liked the design of their flag. A moment to stop and rest our feet here, sitting on a bench below the flag. But as the wind started to pick up again and a drop or two of rain fell we thought it was time to find the station."Dinner?!?!" No, just another public art installation. I love big cities just for the random artwork that is scattered about. "Destroy a trendy coffee shop with a piece of corporate artwork , two birds with one stone." Something about this fish reminded me of Seattle though. Maybe something at Pike Place Market once upon a time in my childhood? Maybe it was just me. But the station was across the street. "No time for interrogation!"We reached the subway just in time to "save our ship?" I don't get it. But I assume it has something to do with international distress terminology and not wayward sailors trapped beneath the labyrinth of Seoul. "Off to Namdaemun!"This thing sits in the middle of a busy intersection. As I found out today in Suwon this seems to be the norm. At one time this was the main southern entrance to Seoul, of course now Seoul has expanded WAY outside of these limited borders. This is our visual cue from outside of Seoul Station that we are headed in the right way to get to Namdaemun Market. Where I purchased a sweet umbrella, I never got to use, for 10,000 Won. "It sounds like a lot of money." And a Red Devils Shirt. "If Korea does well at the World Cup I'm wearing this."This was the scene as the market ended and let out into a street. I love the surreal mix of the familiar and the unfamiliar everywhere I go here. In this case the familiar WAS the surreal, and the unfamiliar is what appears to be giant light up wine glasses. "This is what the gentlemen robots toast with after their city devastating competitions are concluded." Good form A423FX-D!Did someone say back on the subway? So next we went to Daehangno (대학로) which is the Seoul University District. We came looking for dinner and because it was surprisingly warm that evening we sat outside and ate. Pretty traditional, spicy pork and soju. Only one bottle between the two of us, but after only getting 3 hours of sleep the night prior it was enough to make the trip home interesting. But next to the restaurant is THIS:"Everything is going to be OK." I stumbled on to this by accident. 기진 had recommended some places out here but I hadn't got around to checking on locations and I had forgotten it was in this district. Unfortunately we needed to start heading back about this time so there was no time jazz. "No time for jazz?!?!" Shhhh! Another time. But it gives me a good reason to come back to this part of town. It's really nice here and I can't wait until the weather warms up a bit. It seems like such a summer spot, but I am sure I will be coming out for a concert before that. I need a jazz fix! Extra credit time:Translate this and have it on my desk by tomorrow noon. This is not a request.

Should We Go Outside? Should We Break Some Bread? Are Y'interested?

2006-04-09T23:06:00.000+09:00

We were on our way to a BBQ today and saw this sign. It promised so much and yet delivered so very little. Such a nice day for a BBQ though, "I think I got sunburned!" Great food and location too. I backed away from the grill for a minute to get away from the harsh smoke to find some of the guys smoking some harsh smokes. "As smooth as Chinese cigarettes." Wait, those ARE Chinese cigarettes. To my knowledge, the Cubans are the only communists that make good tobacco products. But I suppose "SWEET PANDAS!" can be all it takes to move product.

"건강은 좋아하면 중국제담배을 피우지마세요!"
"If you like your health, don't smoke Chinese cigarettes."

I'm Sittin' in the Railway Station, Got a Ticket For My Destination

2006-04-03T22:14:00.000+09:00

I finally got to go to Busan last weekend. It was very different from what I had expected, with a little something for everyone. The second largest city in Korea and the major port city, Busan is located in the far south east of the peninsula. When I decided to go I had a very specific form of locomotion in mind. The KTX high speed train which started running, from north of Seoul to Busan, April 1, 2004. (This is also first day I started learning Korean.) It's the most efficient way of getting to Busan from Seoul (2.5 hours), relatively inexpensive ($30-$40), super fast (300KPH/180MPH), and "Totally awesome!." It also has a lot of leg room in first class to offer to those of us who are "vertically gifted." We had to ride the subway for about a half an hour before and after the KTX. First was just to get to the station, and then once we reached Busan to get to the section of town we wanted to stay in, which was by the beach. We got a bit of a late start so we arrived at about three in the afternoon. The plan was to get to Busan and immediately find a hotel. However it was the weekend, and I had a camera, so that certainly wasn't going to happen. We went through the fish market first, quickly, then went to the beach. Ruth offered to tell me about "the time I ate raw clams and got really sick." After that we walked down "the most painful trail in the world, I hate you forever." Which, admittedly, was paved poorly using mostly rocks the size and shape of a small potatoes. About halfway down this path the sun jumped out from behind a building and assaulted my eyes, took their wallets, then flitted off into... "Ow!" The eyes got a chance to readjust... "Ooooh, pretty!" *click* Further down we came to the waterfront just as the sun turned in for the evening. I thought, "San Fran?" We climbed up on the jetty to get a better view and came under the gaze of an old couple fishing on the rocky beach nearby. The woman seemed amused by the tourists, I don't think the man ever turned around. The journey continued to the hotel , easy to find in the off season, where we deposited our backpacks and then headed out again for dinner. Which was comprised of the traditional Korean meal of T.G.I. Friday's "Chicken fajitas and--a Budweiser." "Don't judge me, I had tofu kimchee stew for lunch." The Budweiser was considered a domestic beer because they are bottled here by OB. But Ruth had to get all frou-frou and ordered a sissy imported M.G.D. Three different people asked us if our food was 'Ok.' "I think it's because I look upset when I am tired and hungry," Ruth ventured. But I am thinking, "What do they know about my food that I don't?" On the way back we stop in at Starbucks for some dessert. "Home is where the Triple-tall-breve-latte is." At the hotel the TV is a wall. "A projector? Sweet!" I got a plan. "Movie, early to bed, early to rise." I fell asleep in the middle of Bruce Almighty, "Sorry Jim." And I awaken 12 hours later to see Ruth reading 'Atlas Shrugged', back lit in the half light of midmorning seeping through the wooden louvered blinds she sat beneath. "Good Morning! I thought, 'If you could sleep that long, you probably needed it.' So I let you sleep." She was right. We set off for Starbucks and a Buddhist Temple. "Not as mutually exclusive as you might think." And we were, of course, greeted by Hypno-Toad on our way out of said trendy coffee shop. And why wouldn't we be? "Good morning, Hypno-Toad, a might overcast today, is it not?" We get to the temple an hour or so later after a short subway/bus trip, just in time to take a picture for some other tourists. But before heading into the temple area proper we take a side trip into what looks like a garden. At the end of this garden was a circular path through the forest. It was a nice hiking trail that meandered through the Japanese Cedar and Bamboo. If you ignored the dense thickets of bamboo, it bore a striking resemblance to home. "It smells like home, too. I've lived in the city for too long." I will agree, the forest has it's upsides and... a rustling from the bamboo. "Don't they have tigers here?" "I don't think so, anymore. But if there are any, I only have to run faster than you." She said. I think to myself, "I don't want to be a part of the circle of life!" Nobody was eaten this day, but a discovery of great magnitude was made. "Hey! This is where they grow benches!" We went back to the main road that leads up to the temple. From there we could "See the turtle, enormous in girth. On his shell he holds," no dearth of Korean and Chinese symbols on an obelisk. There were numerous turtles lining the stone road up to the main gate and more inside the temple walls. I made it under the gate with a full quarter inch clearance, nevertheless I felt the need to put a spring in my step and bump the top of my head as I went under. "Luck, health, and long life!" As we went up the stairs the drizzle that had begun earlier slid into a light rain. At the top a scene both surreal and no longer surprising, ancient national treasures and a bank of phone booths. Perhaps soon enough we can replace phone booths with cell towers. "Oh, did I mention they had one of those too?" Exploration uncovered various relics and many middle aged men in business suits looking very official. I assume that they were staff or crowd control. Many people were taking off their shoes and going in the different buildings in the compound. I wanted to follow but this was a temple and it felt wrong somehow. Especially since many had made the trek here to worship. So instead we had a look around the outside area and then headed out a side gate. "Fortress trail, 8 kilometers." Unsure glances are exchanged. "Well, let's at least get to the north gate before we turn around," I offered. Drizzle changed to rain as we headed up the mountain on steps made of large stones. As the amount of rain increased so did the number of Koreans nimbly moving down the mountain. "Are we sure we are going the right way?" We were, after all, the only ones heading up. So we went off the main path for a bit to see another portion of the temple complex and seek shelter from the storm. "Are we supposed to be up here?" As I see the vending machines, "Nevermind." A moment in this dry solace to rest our bones and eat a tasty Starbucks muffin. Mid-muffin I was startled by something dropping on my head then to the brick beneath my feet. A bug? I name him Fred and take his picture before the wind takes him away from me. "A moment of silence, please." Before things got to bad we decided to head back the way we came. While waiting for the bus I was informed by a nice old lady in Korean that "It is raining hard!" She then held her umbrella up over Ruth and I to keep us dry and we talked with her for a while about weather and national origin. We took the bus back to the subway and got off at a random stop in a failed search for a restaurant. Success, however lay, in what was beneath the subway station in the form of a river side track lined with some amazing graffiti. "I don't endorse the defacement of public facilities, but this is an incredibly artistic defacement!" We were however at this point still hungry so we got back on the subway towards the Busan Tower. "Stairs, lots of stairs." As we head up to the tower, followed by, "more stairs." I had a feeling I could use the exercise anyway after the previous evening's meal of fajitas. Ruth, on the other hand, did not seem so certain. At the top we caught our breath and migrated toward the tower. The base of the tower offered a couple of shops and, "more steps?!?!" We headed to the elevator and, for a nominal fee, we were whisked away to the cafe below the observation deck. "Observation Deck, upstairs." A moment please--The narrowest hallway and stair case in the Republic of Korea lies at the top of this tower. "I think I'm stuck." Luckily a false alarm and we continue above to gawk at the city below. There is a tremendous view of almost the entirety of Busan from the top of the tower and it is definitely worth the time and money to see. Even on a rainy day. Afterwards we found a restaurant and had a dinner that totaled a whole $6 for both of us. "I love Korean food!" By the time we left the rain was heavier than ever and Ruth's pants were soaked up to her ankles... "Ahhh! I stepped in a puddle!" ...up to her calves. As we navigated our way back to the Hotel we stopped in for baked goods, then burrowed back into the subway. We were the only people without an umbrella that I saw and we looked like we went for a swim by the time we got back to the hotel. "Korean movie!?!?" Something about the war and a group comprised of 2 South Koreans, 3 North Koreans, and 1 American that band together to save a Korean village from an American bombing raid that has mistakenly targeted it. Cheesy but touching. There is a period of darkness that follows the movie that I can only assume was either sleep or alien abduction. The next morning we are on the train heading back, way too fast.

"부산에 가면 우산을 가지고가야되요."

I Really Don't Care What I Sing, And I Really Doubt You Know What I Mean.

2006-03-27T21:51:00.000+09:00

"I like boot blacking VERY MUCH."

I just wanted to put this up. I make no excuses to Mr. Warhol who is, no doubt, rotating in his place of burial as we speak. But sometimes I get in a weird mood and just have to do something. I was polishing my boots and "Holy crap! I just ate a whole can of olives." And they just seemed to go so well together. But what do you do with canned goods and boots?

- 워올할 하다 (Warhol ha da) Sino Korean verb. To make multi-colored and arrange haphazardly in an effort to mimic pop art legend Andy Warhol. Punishable by stoning in 13 nations.

The hanja for that one would be sweet. 완천히 스의트!

I think I had coffee for several meals today both at home and at work. Somehow that perfect amount that allows my mind to run without tripping on it's laces. So when I got home I was in a reading/surfing mood instead of a snoring/drooling mode. Shine boots, eat olives, take picture, read the internet. "I think I am getting close to finishing it." In my random wanderings of Blogger today I found 'Adventures in the land of the Morning Calm' and really enjoyed reading it. Pictures are great too. It felt like a preview of my time here, just without all the children. "Sometimes it SEEMS like I work with children... HEY! Who took my lunch?!?!" Give it a look, compare, contrast. If the owner doesn't want the link up let me know and it's gone. :)

Feeling reminiscent. We need an older picture. "Ah yes, this will do."

--FLASHBACK--

Good times.

Knock Me Down I'll Get Right Back Up Again

2006-03-25T20:12:00.000+09:00

Coffee and Cream, Peanut Butter and Jelly, Paintball and Bowling? "Sure, why not?" Besides everyone knows the two most important things in sports, besides sportsmanship and camaraderie, are alcohol and humiliating injuries. The only thing better is a combination of the two. But alas... "If you have been drinking, even one beer, we have to put a little blue 'X' on your hand. And you will not be allowed to play." -stunned silence- "Awww what the hell?" But even without the alcohol we had the "Funventure Play of the Day" which involved Zach getting shot in his... 'southern polar region.' He added later "I heard the crowd go 'aaaaahhhhh' then I was like 'Ah shit, I just got shot in the balls!'" He was a good sport about it and probably gave people something to talk about for a week at least. "If me getting hit in the balls made these people's day a little better, then it was worth it." But later, out of ear shot, Chris asks, "Does that mean any time I want to make peoples day better I can hit him in the balls?" I had to think about it. I ran through the legal ramifications of his statement and said, "Yeah, I think it does." I would buy a cup.

It was "Spin the Wheel: Win Your Price" night at the alley. We spun righteously and therefore spent more money on beer than on 8 pairs of shoes and 2 lanes for 2 hours. As usual I set no records. I haven't broken a 100 since the Clinton administration. "Those were different times!" But if I bowl here too many more times I am going to be left with the unfortunate nickname of "Gutterballs" and that just SOUNDS wrong. I did notice that "There are a lot of Koreans bowling tonight." I'm sure you are thinking the same thing but at the TIME this seemed like a perfectly sane thing to say. "Well, we are in KOREA!" Not quite what I meant I suppose what I meant was "There are more than usual." -nod nod- "Yeah I think it's because the workers are having a league night. It's a Korean Workers Party." -gape- "Yes, of course it is, COMRADE!" They feared our hodge podge of Mad Skillz (r)! "I have never seen a ball move that slow and still get a strike, it's like they laid down from boredom." Then Chad's gutterball, standing backwards, both hands, between the legs roll. "Well, no, that's not the secret."

I don't roll on Shabbos!

So Far Away, Come On I'll Take You Far Away

2006-03-19T01:46:00.000+09:00

Spirit Fingers? Well, they aren't Jazz Hands. Perhaps the result of too much coffee, my hands slip into an ethereal state and increase my typing rate from 10 WPM to a whopping 20 WPM. "Thanks Coffee, you just doubled my efficiency! Now I can wait twice as long to start!"

Another Saint Patrick's Day has passed me by, I think. "Oh, THAT'S why my beer is green and everyone thinks they're Irish." We had or choice between 'The Pogues' or 'Drop Kick Murphys' ALL NIGHT. "Some things never get old, this isn't one of those things, but SOME things don't." It gives Irish Eyes a chance to smile and everyone else a chance to drink Guinness and play darts. It was an Irish holiday so we chose the traditional meal of Tofu Pad Thai at our local Thai eating establishment. "I'm an elephant in a Thai restaurant." I said after breaking a glass napkin holder. "I'M why I can't have nice things." That also applies to those in close proximity to me. Besides a rousing few rounds of darts Brian and I got also got in a quick game of war when we got back. "Truly a sport of Kings, even sitting in the hallway." 찬!

수원에 갈까? Sure, we go to Suwon. Just Jason and I, looking like a pair from a bad 80's cop buddy movie. We wander through the Subway Station / Mall / Department Store. "All I want is a wine rack!" 6 floors later we have two iced lattes and a lot of strange looks to show for our troubles. Highlights of the Day: The girl in the department store who forcefully turned her friend around by the shoulders to look at us nearly hitting us in the process, and the old man in the subway station who seemed to really enjoy the fact that I was taller than him while I was several steps below him, then asked us if we were Soviet. "I don't think I should have worn the Hammer and Sickle shirt." One more city station visited so many to go. "Relax, there is still plenty of time, DO NOT RUSH!"

Sunday finally rolls around and it's time to bust out the new coffee maker... of the FUTURE! "Brew strength: Regular or Strong... Your humor continues to amuse me Mr. Coffee, I'll shall let you live another day. As long as you continue to serve me strong, delicious coffee you will be safe in my home." As I drink my tasty beverage and check my email Mr. Coffee beeps to alert me of imminent danger! He has sensed an incoming enemy and instinctively wants to defend his master. The enemy is displayed on his internal targeting system and he prepares to fire. The moment before he smites the mighty space turtle Gamera...

...there is a knock at the door. In the midst of my caffeine induced Japanese Monster Movie daydream I fail to grasp the gravity of who is at the door and why it is out of the norm. "Hey Hunter, HOLY CRAP, it's HUNTER!"

"Looking Bad Ass and sporting the latest in spring fashion! Here he is wearing a black suede jacket with black buttons, a black and tan shirt with matching hat and sunglasses that just scream out 'Hey, it's cold but sunny, so kiss my ass!.'" He was in town on business and saw it fit to grace us with his presence. He had travelled 9000 miles, so we took him out for dinner, a couple of songs (...you're in the jungle baby, you're going to die), and a couple of beers ("You can't even TASTE the soju if you mix it with beer!"). But things took a turn for the worst towards the end of the night when he got fresh with Wooden Pirate. "We lost a good man back there, he was two weeks from retirement, I'm getting to old for this shit." We hurried to the bus back to his people before Wooden Pirate caught up with us. Luckily he only got a few splinters and we scared off Wooden Pirate with a Zippo and a can of Aqua Net EXTRA HOLD. "How 'bout a little fire Scarecrow?" Build a man a fire and you keep him warm for a day, SET a man on fire, and you keep him warm for the rest of his life.

"WOAH, HOOK CHECK!"